JOY FEELINGS MAGAZINE April-May | Page 73

73 down to the m.c. in the yellow spats. So why the angel with the flaming sword bringing in the sheep and waving away the goats, and the men with the binoculars, elbows resting on the roll bars of jeeps, peering into the desert? There is a border, but it is not fixed, it wavers, it shimmies, it rises and plunges into the unimaginable seventh dimension before erupting in a field of Dakota corn. On the F train to Manhattan yesterday, I sat across from a family threesome Guatemalan by the look of them— delicate and archaic and Mayan— and obviously undocumented to the bone. They didn’t seem anxious. The mother was laughing and squabbling with the daughter over a knockoff smart phone on which they were playing a video game together. The boy, maybe three, disdained their ruckus. I recognized the scowl on his face, the retrospective, maskless rage of inception. He looked just like my son when my son came out of his mother after thirty hours of labor—the head squashed, the lips swollen, the skin empurpled and hideous with blood and afterbirth. Out of the inflamed tunnel and into the cold room of harsh sounds. He looked right at me with his bleared eyes. JOY FEELINGS MAGAZINE