Journey Of Hope - Fall 2018 Journey of Hope 2018 | Page 23

Bacha Posh
I
Afghan girls raised as boys
by Daniel Rosinsky-Larson
In “the worst place to be a woman,”
according to Amnesty International, a few
Afghan girls get to learn what it’s like to be
a boy. Until she was 16 years old, Farhat B.
was raised as a son — “Mustafa” — in a family
that had only daughters. She played outside
freely, worked and went to the stores without
being harassed, and attended an all-boy’s
school. After that, she was made to resume
dressing and acting as a woman, subject to
questioning about where she had been and
why each day.
Now married and 30 years old, “Mustafa”
is “Farhat” again, a housewife who cares
for her five children at home, which she
does not leave without her husband or
son. Her experience is shared by hundreds
of bacha posh (literally, ‘dressed as a boy’)
in Afghanistan who are temporarily given
a boy’s name, dressed in boys clothes, and
given the responsibilities of boys, until they
reach adolescence.
Life in Afghanistan is easier for families
who have a son instead of a daughter.
Uneducated neighbors gossip and look
down on parents without a son, costing
them respect and social opportunities.
Community expectations of what a girl
should do mean that a son can contribute
much more to their families outside the
home than a daughter. For some, it’s
enough to tell the neighbors that they have
a son; a bacha posh daughter gives her
family status, and perhaps good luck that
will bring them a “real” son later.
Farhat’s father was old and ill when she
was born, and the family was worried that
they might not sustain themselves. The
youngest of five girls, the family decided
when she was three to have her live as a
bacha posh boy, so that she could help at
her father’s small store near their house.
FALL 2018
It’s useful to be a boy: while in conserva-
tive areas a girl shouldn’t walk alone, a boy
can shop and do chores outside the house,
or help with the father’s business. In families
without a male head of household, the “son”
can earn money for the family in jobs outside
of cooking and cleaning and other “women’s
work,” joining the one in four boys between
the ages of 6 and 11 who are forced to work .
“I felt very independent, useful, and
efficient when I was a boy, fully free from
any restrictions. I did a lot of things for my
family, which I wanted to do — particularly
for my old and weak father,” says Farhat.
Although puberty is when most bacha
posh return to life as a girl, few go back to
attend school and pursue their dreams.
The same family that demanded that a girl
live as a boy will likely demand after her
transition “back” that she marry and have
children, joining the 57 percent of girls
between 16 and 18 who are neither in school
nor working. Unlike some bacha posh, when
“Mustafa” turned back into “Farhat”, she was
allowed to go back to school — the girls’
school. When Farhat returned, the first dif-
ference she noticed was how she was treated.
“The male teachers in the boys’ school
dealt with me politely and respectfully. But
when I started studying in the girls’ school,
the female teachers treated all of the girl
students quite harshly. They always tried
to keep us down and to make us afraid of
society in all the lessons in every course.”
Now a housewife, Farhat lives by the
restrictions she was taught at the girls’ school.
She says, “I am highly dependent on my
family. I cannot go outside of my house alone
without my husband — or now, my son. I am
an obedient daughter-in-law and a caring
mother — but sometimes, I really miss the
independent limitless life that I had when
I was changed from a girl to a boy.”
Former bacha posh women such as Farhat
have the bittersweet experience of seeing life
from the other side — where they have the
freedom to live as they want. Once women
get the education they deserve, it is Farhat's
hope they will change their communities,
and the practice of bacha posh will no longer
be needed for families to get the support
they need, or for women to live a life without
restriction. l
Visit our website to watch a video
interview with Farhat at
CentralAsiaInstitute.org/bacha-posh.
Daniel Rosinsky-Larson
Marketing and Outreach
Coordinator
JOURNEY OF HOPE | 21