and evaluate my performance and believe in myself .
Sometimes it ’ s easy to overlook how well you are doing when faced with challenges , so it ’ s important to pause and reflect on your performance .
As I was pushing through my final placement , I remember waking up one day with a huge patch of vision loss in right eye , with the most extreme pressure type headache / migraine .
I recalled instantly that I ’ d had a very long day previously at placement , due to working on a student project . So , I convinced myself not to worry , that it was just tiredness , and that the vision would get better throughout the day as usual .
I was so used to carrying on with life – I ’ d been living with headaches and deteriorating vision for years – that it was normal for me . My coping mechanism during challenging times is always to carry on for as long as I feel an ounce of energy in me ; I get up , dress up , show up , present myself as best as I can , because the moment I allow myself to feel emotions , it crashes me .
I remember having a conversation with myself on this particular day during reflective study time , as I was reading through student wellbeing resources given to me by my educator .
My occupational therapy mindset kicked in and I found myself assessing my abilities , thoughts about finding my occupational lens , and what kind of professional I wanted to be .
I had deep thoughts about checking in with myself , something I hardly do , as I as I am used to carrying on .
I began questioning myself : How can I be good for someone else , if I ’ m not good within myself ? Surely , I cannot keep pouring from an empty cup ? I knew I was hanging by a thread , but why do I keep going ? This prompted me to rush for an emergency eye check at the opticians .
My self-reflective thoughts on that day started my healing journey . Fast forward from there and
© Drazen Zigic via Getty Images everything happened so fast . I had an emergency MRI scan and it came back with a three centimetre brain tumour in about two weeks .
Thankfully I received my MRI scan results in early April , a week after completing my final student placement . To be honest , I had a brief moment of sadness in the doctor ’ s room when hearing the news . I felt numb , but something in me felt relieved that finally I knew what was wrong with me . I was not searching anymore , and I knew for sure it was the ‘ healing moment ’.
I accepted my situation and felt grateful for life itself and was more determined to complete my studies . I decided to keep my journey personal to myself and planned to make the best of the situation , to allow myself to focus and get the jobs done on my ‘ to do list ’. I was determined to complete my dissertation before undergoing surgery in June of that year .
I confided in our course leader Dr Heather Baglee , who gave me so much support and compassion in her guidance . And I also shared the news with the rest of the team of lecturers .
I had great support with my dissertation from the module leader Dr Daniel Cruz , as well as my supervisor Jo Atkinson . I felt understood and supported and I could have never completed my dissertation without them .
I took up their wise counsel and understood the meaning of the nature of the occupational therapy mindset , from their work on neurorehabilitation and occupational engagement .
Having a great team of experienced occupational therapists in my journey really helped me . This shaped my understanding of having a healthy balance of perseverance and determination , with a self-reflective analysis of who you are as a person and what kind of occupational therapist I desired to be as I completed my studies .
In the end , I graduated with a first-class honours degree . I can never thank the team of lecturers enough for keeping me going . Perseverance , with an intentional healthy balance , surely paid off in my journey .
As I look forward to the start of my occupational therapy journey in the profession , I am filled with so much joy , gratitude and resilience . And I am excited to continue learning as a newly-qualified occupational therapist , as I fully recover from brain surgery .
Words FUNGAI BVUMBWE , Occupational Therapist , Leeds Community Healthcare NHS Trust fungai . bvumbwe @ nhs . net
36 OTnews January 2025