Jewish Life Digital Edition September 2015 | Page 95

while surrounded by this maelstrom.
The strategy is simple; in fact, it is simplicity itself – literally. Dr Tal Ben-Shahar, professor of psychology at Harvard, in his book, Choose the Life You
Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness
speaks about savouring life itself. Even
the most delicious food in the world
can give no enjoyment if we devour it
without appreciation. Our children
must hear us expressing our gratitude
for the simple blessings of life, and not
hear us moan about its inescapable
tribulations and frustrations.
Drawing on a decade’s worth of empirical data, Ben-Shahar concludes that
happiness comes not from possessing
material things, but from pursuing positive experiences as simple as playing ball
with our children or enjoying a family
meal. The price tag of these moments is
low, yet they are truly priceless.
The greatest gift we can give our children is to introduce them to the inexhaustible fountainhead of their own re-

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sourcefulness. The wellspring of the self
never runs dry. Our children are being
conditioned by society to become dependent on external stimuli and entertainments to save them from the dread of a
moment’s boredom. When we encourage
them to discover and develop their intrinsic talents and skills, they will find
an ever renewable free source of energy.
The late Rabbi Avrohom Pam, z”l,
suggests that children should be made
aware that life has unexpected changes
and that the blessings they have become accustomed to are not guaranteed. Better yet, he advises, even in
good times, one should accustom them
to a simple lifestyle.5 It’s easy to climb

(Reg No. 000 809 NPO)

up, but very hard to climb down. And if
they fall, they might break.
Children who are raised with the values of self-sufficiency and low expectations will be gifted with the resilience
they will require to weather the storms
of life. JL
Steve Lohr, “For Impatient Web Users, an
Eye Blink Is Just Too Long to Wait”, NY
Times, Feb 29, 2012 http://tinyurl.com/
o9q63ys
2
Ibid.
3
Devarim 15:8
4
Talmud Kesubos 67b
5
Rabbi Shalom Smith, Successful Parenting:
Practical Insights and Timely Advice from Rav
Pam zt”l on the topic of Chinuch Habonim, pg.
7 (Brooklyn: Shuvu Pub., 2009)
1

Rabbi Ze’ev Kraines, M Ed, is Rav of Ohr Somayach Sandton. He is
active in adult, teen, and children’s education, having served locally as
mashgiach of Ohr Somayach’s Yeshiva, director of Ma’ayan Bina Sem
and of Pirchei SA, and principal of Shaarei Torah School and Ohr
Somayach Sandton Nursery. He and his wife Nechama lead parenting
workshops in Johannesburg.

P.B.O. Ref No. 930015342

PARENTS/GRANDPARENTS/AUNTS/UNCLES....

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