Jewish Life Digital Edition September 2015 | Page 30

peace and a pursuer of peace”. Peace is considered the greatest of all blessings, without which no other blessing is meaningful.4
Conversely, divisiveness and conflict
are considered immensely evil. It’s even a
Torah prohibition to encourage disagreement5 and our Sages teach6 that one who
causes conflict is called a “rasha” (wicked).
The Chafetz Chayim states7: “Besides the
inherent sin [of strife] which is indeed a
massive sin… it is also a great cause of
coming to [other] severe sins such as:
baseless hatred, lashon hara (slander and
defamation), tale-bearing, anger, hurtful
speech, embarrassing [others], revenge
and grudges, cursing… harming another’s
livelihood, and also sometimes to desecration of Hashem’s name, Heaven forbid,
which is an exceedingly great sin. It is also
commonplace that… others are drawn
in… to the argument.”
Similarly, the Vilna Gaon describes8 five
types of erev rav (a group that stands
against the Torah and its adherents): 1)
men of strife and slander and defamation, 2) those who run after their desires…, 3) deceivers who hold themselves
out as righteous, but are not really, 4)
those who run after honour…, 5) those
who run after money… and strife is [mentioned] first since strife is as bad as all of
the others [combined] and [men of strife]
are called Amalekites, and the son of David [ie, the Moshiach] will not come until
they are removed from the world…”
The Kli Yakar states9 further: “In our
generation, this characteristic alone (of
division and strife) is sufficient [to explain] the lengthiness of our exile.”
There are literally hundreds of similar
statements in the words of our Sages. It is
critical to understand that this is not
merely moralising on the part of our Sages. It is something that they truly intended to be taken very seriously and empha-

To many of us, the extent of the
emphasis that the patriarchs and the
matriarchs placed on shalom bayis will
seem strange – even quaint.
sised in our daily lives and in our interactions with others. The fact that other aspects of Torah appear to receive more attention than peace is a profound problem
in modern Jewish society. Moreover, the
value the Torah places on peace also differs greatly from the value the surrounding society places on it, just one very clear
illustration of the significant disparity
that exists between the value system of
the Torah and that of the society around
us. Whenever we encounter a disparity
between society’s value system (or, even
our own value system) and the value system of the Torah, it is incumbent upon us
to attempt to understand the Torah’s perspective in order that we can recalibrate
our value system in accordance with it.
While the importance of peace generally
is certainly paramount, a key aspect of
peace in particular, emphasised by our Sages, is that of peace in the home, between
husband and wife, as well as among the entire family – what is called shalom bayis.
There are several startling examples of the
lengths to which one ought to go to establish and preserve peace at home.
Although we’re famously taught10 that
“the seal of [Hashem] is truth”, we see explicitly in the text of the Torah that Hashem actually altered the truth for the sake
of preserving marital harmony! When the
three malachim (angels) famously visited
Avraham following his bris milah (circumcision), they informed him that he and his
wife, Sarah, would be blessed with the
birth of a child in the coming year, despite
their very advanced ages. On hearing this

While the importance of peace
generally is certainly paramount, a key
aspect of peace in particular, emphasised
by our Sages, is that of peace in the home,
between husband and wife, as well as
among the entire family.
26 JEWISH LIFE n ISSUE 88

amazing news, the Torah reports11, “And
Sarah laughed in her heart, saying ‘After I
have withered shall I again have radiant
skin? And my master (Avraham) is old!’”
However, when Hashem questioned Avraham concerning Sarah’s incredulity, He
told Avraham that Sarah had said, “And I
have grown old,” instead of her actual comment about Avraham’s old age!
While this episode is well-known, it
still bears looking at some of the finer details of the incident. Rav Chaim Shmuelevitz, z”l, the Rosh Yeshiva of Mir, points
out12 that all of the Avos (forefathers)
were inconceivably virtuous. As such, one
would imagine that a man as great as
Avraham would feel virtually no upset or
anger even if he had heard Sarah’s actual
comment instead of its altered version. In
fact, Avraham probably would have even
agreed with Sarah’s remark, as he had earlier13 had almost the very same reaction,
laughing at the thought of a 100-year-old
man having a child, when Hashem had informed Avraham that He would bless
Avraham and Sarah with a son. Even
someone far less virtuous than Avraham
would probably have taken no offense at
such a comment. How much more so
when the comment originated from his
treasured wife, Sarah, whom he loved
dearly for so many years and who had
supported him through his many, extraordinary travails. If any friction between Avraham and Sarah could possibly
have arisen over Sarah’s remark, it would
have been exceptionally subtle and hardly
noticeable – probably not even something
he would have even been aware of. Nevertheless, even such minor friction was considered serious enough to Hashem that
He was willing to alter the truth in order
to avoid it in the slightest!
And we can learn another lesson from
another part of this same incident. Earlier on, when the malachim had first arrived at Avraham’s tent, they enquired of
Avraham as to Sarah’s whereabouts14 and