Hot Car , New Palz , New York circa 1980 Photo by Barry Epstein
life , etcetera , but there was absolutely no one that was in my circle that I could talk to . My Mom was warm and friendly with frequent bursts of being hysterical but she had no real understanding of what I was going through and my Dad was not really there for me . Also , my Mom and Dad argued frequently in front of me and I really hated listening to it although I am not sure what they argued about . This caused me to be sad and possibly even depressed on several occasions .
So I moved from group to group in high school . There were the “ T ’ s ”, who were the white tee shirt hoodlum kind . They were dispersed throughout the school primarily in the low level trade courses that everyone had to take . I remember in one auto mechanic class , the teacher who was over six foot tall and named Mr Little , would ask the class if anyone knew how to tell if a head gasket was blown . In a typical New Jersey accent , some of the “ T ’ s ” blurted out , teeth marks . These guys roamed the halls in gangs and would punch , kick and push people regularly . I did not participate in that activity except in my early years that sometimes I was on the receiving end .
Then there were the jocks and they were mostly the football guys . The brains were the other group that I hung out with as well . So I had a few friends in each group and I was nowhere . But I got to experience each group and what they did . The “ T ’ s ” would hang out at some dances in their hot cars and drink and it seemed that they were always just looking for a fight with a neighbor town . Going to dances was always fun and usually every Friday night at the school was a dance with a live band . I got to be friends with some of the guys in the band whom I grew up with and that was a fun place to hang . This meant that they had practices at their houses and it meant that I could help them set up and hang with them at the dances . I probably would have gotten in the band if I would of had music lessons . Not everyone seemed to dance back then and it was easy to dance with a girl if you knew how to dance and my sister Linda was previously helpful .
The band guys had the best parties and drinking became popular although I didn ’ t really like the taste of beer or spirits . I had to force it down to then get a buzz and then ultimately get a bit drunk . Drinking usually put me to sleep and I really didn ’ t like the feeling of being drunk as I equated it to being carsick which I would get if I sat in the back seat . Being carsick made me quiet and I tried to sleep . Drinking sometimes was very pathetic as I would have to listen to some story about how someone didn ’ t get along with his parents or someone or didn ’ t like someone . It was not fun and really represented the opposite of fun to me . One New Years Eve , I had drank so much that I broke into my friends house near a party that I was at and called for the police to get me and I didn ’ t have the address just the persons name . They brought me home and I had the shakes for the entire night . They said it could have been life threatening . To this date , I cannot drink rye spirits because of that night .
BARRY STEVEN EPSTEIN - PhotoAutobiography DRAFT 10 of 156