wounds and untangling my selfesteem from the wrong places.
Interestingly, the physical part of my
abuse has been much easier to work
through than the deep emotional
effects it left behind.
Because of those hateful words
spoken over me by my abuser …
“This is your fault. If you tell anybody,
you will be in trouble. You are bad
and dirty and will never be worth
anything.” I walked away from that
apartment with a new belief system.
And then the enemy went to work,
anchoring the message of
worthlessness to my self-esteem.
One of the tools he used was
NUMBERS. And news flash - numbers
are everywhere!
Numbers themselves are not evil.
They help us make sense of our
world because they define,
differentiate, and describe the things
around us.
Think about it.
We have social security numbers,
employee ID numbers, and license
plates numbers.
When we fly, we’re a row and seat
number.
At a restaurant, we are a table
number. Our clothes have numbers.
Our home address is a number. We
can be reached by a phone number.
Our health is determined by a series
of numbers (height, weight, etc).
We even celebrate numbers birthdays, anniversaries, years sober,
and years cancer-free.
Numbers are not bad.
But the enemy used them against
me.
I literally began to count my worth.
And no matter how hard I crunched
the numbers, they just never added
up to me being “good enough.”
JASMINE'S PLACE
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