was drinking . The next morning I would hate myself . After my PM shifts as a registered nurse , I would go home and down a bottle or two of strawberry wine to “ unwind and relax ”.
My sister visited . She had changed tremendously . I had to ask questions . I scoffed and poked fun at her , but underneath that tough exterior I was thoughtful .
As soon as I put her on the plane , I found myself at the Christian bookstore , getting the book on Bible prophesy she recommended .
Three weeks after reading the book , my then husband and I went for a walk in a nearby park . I was crying but instead of release , the tears felt muddy as they dribbled down my face . Life was a tangled snarl and I was even more tangled . what I expected , but nothing " weird ” happened . I felt calm and peaceful , like a huge boulder in a backpack was lifted off my shoulders .
“ Hey , Jo , are you ok in there , you ’ ve been in there an hour and a half now ?” questioned my husband .
It was then I realized I was sitting in a bathtub filled with stone cold water . But I felt free for the first time ever in my life .
There was a born again nurse ’ s aide at work . I spoke with her a lot . I began to read the Bible . I still had so many questions : How did I know this was really the literal Word of God ? How could I believe every word ? What were just “ good stories ” and what was real ?
It wasn ’ t just the drinking . I was also entangled in transcendental meditation and tarot cards ; and even heavier so , in astrology .
Later that day , as I was taking a bath and getting ready for work , I found myself talking out loud to God . IF He was there , I needed help .
“ I ’ ve made a wreck of my life . If you ' re there , I need you to forgive me and to have you take over ...” This went on for some time . I ’ m not sure
JASMINE ' S PLACE
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