PCR: If you’re going to have to talk
to your spouse about the problem,
how do you approach that? Do you
plan a weekend away, do you
sweeten them up first, do you blurt
it out?
JN: It’s so easy when we’ve been
hurt, to be tempted to just blurt it
out, we can just let it come out,
whatever way, full of accusations,
judgement and hurt. Often with
betrayals, we don’t know for sure if
it’s happened. And so we’re often
starting from that place of
uncertainty, if we think they’ve lied,
or think “gosh these bank accounts
are not lining up with what we’ve
talked about”, or we’re seeing tell-
tale signs of infidelity, how do we
raise these things? If we do it at
11pm at night when everyone is
tired, emotions are riding high, we’re
not going to have the right sort of
conversation.
So, if we can first get to God and say
“I’m really worried, I’m afraid that
I’ve been betrayed” and if we can
pour out our hearts before God first
and ask Him for wisdom. You know
the Bible says call wisdom your sister,
call understanding your best friend
…. And we need that in marriage, and
we need to get to that point when
we say “God I need Your help with
this”…raise it in the day time .
PCR: I was reading the other day
that our control over our emotions
and our conscience are much better
in the morning. Evidently our
conscience gets more relaxed as we
go through the day, we’re more
likely to do wrong things later on in
the day than we are first thing in the
morning, and we’re more likely to
get more emotional later on in the
day.
JN: Certainly tiredness makes
emotions more fragile. And so, that
makes perfect sense if you haven’t
had a good night’s sleep. Take your
time, don’t raise it when your spouse
is about to go out to work.
If you have children, have someone
to look after them, and be clear,
“there’s something I really want to
chat to you about” - creating that
space, praying about it before,
thinking about how we say these
things – they may have…
JASMINE'S PLACE
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