IMPRESSIONS
Who Needs Sleep ?
By Dr . Bruce R . Terry Editor
It starts out pretty benign . I go to bed and fall asleep within minutes . I usually go out like a light , as the expression goes . When I wake up I feel refreshed despite it being dark . I check the clock and realize that I ’ ve been asleep for only a few hours . Ugh , five hours until I need to get up ! I start thinking about what I need to do the next day . I think about what I did earlier in the day . I think about what I need to do next week . I think about what I did when I was 10 . I curse at the fact that I am awake and I really need to be asleep . I usually fall back to sleep within 30 minutes . Sometimes I dream , sometimes nothing . Again I wake feeling ready to go . But I didn ’ t hear the alarm . I realize it ’ s still dark and turn to the clock : 4:30 a . m .
Did you know that one in three people suffer from some form of insomnia ? More than 50 percent of individuals lose sleep due to stress and / or anxiety . Women are twice as likely to suffer from insomnia . Did you know that 10 million people in the U . S . use prescription sleep aids ? 1 A recent telephone survey by the CDC found that 4.2 percent of those questioned have dozed off behind the wheel of a moving automobile in the past 30 days . 2 The report found more dozing drivers were men and statistically more from the state of Texas . Go figure !
I know this because it ’ s my job to investigate things that go on in and around my life . Don ’ t you do the same thing ? It gives me something to think about during those long nights of being asleep , then awake , then asleep . I thought that if I
understood the problem I could master a solution . Funny how I don ’ t fit the profile for this illness . I am not female , nor over age 60 , yet . I don ' t take any prescription medication , although maybe I should . I don ’ t have sleep apnea . I don ' t think I am overweight . I could be depressed , but I would deny it in a heartbeat . I am also not anxious — can ’ t you tell by my nonchalant , laissez faire attitude toward my sleep deprivation ? And I am not from Texas !
I tell my family that I don ' t need much sleep . That is why I can get up on a Sunday morning at 6 a . m . and run , hike or bike for 3 hours and come back . I can make a cup of coffee and read the paper in dead silence as the rest of my family sleeps .
Years ago I remember a highly respected faculty member sitting at my table during a luncheon . He was bragging to others about his ability to survive on only 2-3 hours of sleep per night . At that time I was in my early 30s . I asked him how that was possible since I coveted that sacred time with my head on the pillow . He told me that he has been living on little sleep for most of his adult life . He said , “ Just you wait , you ’ ll be like me soon enough .” During the afternoon lecture this revered educator fell asleep and at one point began to snore . As I lie awake in my bed I wonder if he counted those afternoon naps toward his daily totals ?
I can see my future clearly at 4:00 a . m . I am going to be that guy . I will be asleep during dessert at my next all-day CE . My colleagues are going to draw a mustache on my face and make a hat out of newspaper for my head . Just last weekend I fell asleep on the couch during a family gathering . Granted , I don ’ t much enjoy my extended family , but come on , I ’ m not that old !
When I wake up occasionally I don ’ t get too bothered by the whole thing , but recently it ’ s been happening with more regularity . So , I did my homework and googled insomnia cures . What I got back may or may not surprise you . 3
• Sleeping pills — Better living through chemistry , right ? Well , I know it ’ s great for many people , but I am a purist and shun pills if I can .
• Herbal Tea — Ancient Chinese cure . Problem is that I am not of ancient Chinese descent and I ’ ll just have to pee three hours later when I wake up .
• Warm milk — similar to the tea thing , only I will likely pee in the bed instead .
• Wiggle toes before you fall asleep . This is suppose be like reflexology . The only problem with that at 1:00 , 2:00 or 3:00 a . m . is that my toes crack when I wiggle them and it wakes up my wife . Next !
• Take a warm bath — Yeah , that ’ s what guys do , take warm baths . Not ! It even says it ’ s better with scented candles . Not , Not !!
• Visualize — I need to be careful with that one . Visualizing might get me more excited than relaxed . I am suppose to visualize myself on a beach and I just start thinking about the beautiful woman on that beach . Now I don ’ t know if I dreaming or thinking . My wife is sleeping next to me . This can ’ t be good !
• Sex — finally , a solution I can live with . Nothing more needs to be said . Sex always puts me to sleep .
“ Honey ?” “ Yes , dear ”, “ I can ’ t sleep ” “ Really ” “ Yeah , I ’ ve been up for an hour now .” “ So , what you do want me to do ?” “ You know .” “ You should really try medication .” “ Don ’ t want any medication .” “ How about a nice bath ?” “ Honey , you know what I want .”
“ How about some warm milk ? I ’ ll go downstairs and get you some warm milk .”
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