Ask Greta
Silly Snapshots
Dear Greta ,
I am 50 years old . My family doesn ' t like my new boyfriend . They think he is goofy and refuse to have him around . When there are family get-togethers , they want me to come alone . I do not have the heart to tell him that he is not invited to my family ' s house because no one likes him . If they really got to know him , I think they ' d like him , but they just won ' t give him a chance . He comes from a good family , doesn ' t drink , and works hard . He treats me very well . When I ' m with him , I feel good about myself . We like doing the same things and he makes me laugh . I have never felt closer to anyone in my life . We supported each other when his father and my mother died . My sister wanted me to come help clean out my mother ' s things and told me to leave my boyfriend home because no one likes him . She doesn ' t care how I feel , and he was eager to help . I ' m tired of lying and making up excuses about why he is not included . What do I do ? I feel like they ' re making me choose between them and him .
- Disgruntled
Dear Disgruntled ,
I think you do need to make some choices here . Is this man important enough for you to face your family and insist they behave politely toward him ? If he is , then that is what you need to require from them . Tell them it ' s either the two or you or none of you . It sounds like you let your family push you around , and I bet this is not the first time . If you are not able to face your family with this man , then I think it ' s time to let him go so he can find someone who will support him and his place in their life .
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