CHAPTER IX 99
This phrase , uttered in my hearing yesterday , would have only conveyed the notion that she was about to be removed to Northumberland , to her own home . I should not have suspected that it meant she was dying ; but I knew instantly now ! It opened clear on my comprehension that Helen Burns was numbering her last days in this world , and that she was going to be taken to the region of spirits , if such region there were . I experienced a shock of horror , then a strong thrill of grief , then a desire -- a necessity to see her ; and I asked in what room she lay .
" She is in Miss Temple ' s room ," said the nurse . " May I go up and speak to her ?"
" Oh no , child ! It is not likely ; and now it is time for you to come in ; you ' ll catch the fever if you stop out when the dew is falling ."
The nurse closed the front door ; I went in by the side entrance which led to the schoolroom : I was just in time ; it was nine o ' clock , and Miss Miller was calling the pupils to go to bed .
It might be two hours later , probably near eleven , when I -- not having been able to fall asleep , and deeming , from the perfect silence of the dormitory , that my companions were all wrapt in profound repose -- rose softly , put on my frock over my night-dress , and , without shoes , crept from the apartment , and set off in quest of Miss Temple ' s room . It was quite at the other end of the house ; but I knew my way ; and the light of the unclouded summer moon , entering here and there at passage windows , enabled me to find it without difficulty . An odour of camphor and burnt vinegar warned me when I came near the fever room : and I passed its door quickly , fearful lest the nurse who sat up all night should hear me . I dreaded being discovered and sent back ; for I MUST see Helen , -- I must embrace her before she died , -- I must give her one last kiss , exchange with her one last word .
Having descended a staircase , traversed a portion of the house below , and succeeded in opening and shutting , without noise , two doors , I reached