CHAPTER IX 97
And where , meantime , was Helen Burns ? Why did I not spend these sweet days of liberty with her ? Had I forgotten her ? or was I so worthless as to have grown tired of her pure society ? Surely the Mary Ann Wilson I have mentioned was inferior to my first acquaintance : she could only tell me amusing stories , and reciprocate any racy and pungent gossip I chose to indulge in ; while , if I have spoken truth of Helen , she was qualified to give those who enjoyed the privilege of her converse a taste of far higher things .
True , reader ; and I knew and felt this : and though I am a defective being , with many faults and few redeeming points , yet I never tired of Helen Burns ; nor ever ceased to cherish for her a sentiment of attachment , as strong , tender , and respectful as any that ever animated my heart . How could it be otherwise , when Helen , at all times and under all circumstances , evinced for me a quiet and faithful friendship , which ill-humour never soured , nor irritation never troubled ? But Helen was ill at present : for some weeks she had been removed from my sight to I knew not what room upstairs . She was not , I was told , in the hospital portion of the house with the fever patients ; for her complaint was consumption , not typhus : and by consumption I , in my ignorance , understood something mild , which time and care would be sure to alleviate .
I was confirmed in this idea by the fact of her once or twice coming downstairs on very warm sunny afternoons , and being taken by Miss Temple into the garden ; but , on these occasions , I was not allowed to go and speak to her ; I only saw her from the schoolroom window , and then not distinctly ; for she was much wrapped up , and sat at a distance under the verandah .
One evening , in the beginning of June , I had stayed out very late with Mary Ann in the wood ; we had , as usual , separated ourselves from the others , and had wandered far ; so far that we lost our way , and had to ask it at a lonely cottage , where a man and woman lived , who looked after a herd of half-wild swine that fed on the mast in the wood . When we got back , it was after moonrise : a pony , which we knew to be the surgeon ' s , was standing at the garden door . Mary Ann remarked that she supposed some one must be very ill , as Mr . Bates had been sent for at that time of the evening . She went