CHAPTER I 7
CHAPTER I
There was no possibility of taking a walk that day . We had been wandering , indeed , in the leafless shrubbery an hour in the morning ; but since dinner ( Mrs . Reed , when there was no company , dined early ) the cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so sombre , and a rain so penetrating , that further out-door exercise was now out of the question .
I was glad of it : I never liked long walks , especially on chilly afternoons : dreadful to me was the coming home in the raw twilight , with nipped fingers and toes , and a heart saddened by the chidings of Bessie , the nurse , and humbled by the consciousness of my physical inferiority to Eliza , John , and Georgiana Reed .
The said Eliza , John , and Georgiana were now clustered round their mama in the drawing-room : she lay reclined on a sofa by the fireside , and with her darlings about her ( for the time neither quarrelling nor crying ) looked perfectly happy . Me , she had dispensed from joining the group ; saying , " She regretted to be under the necessity of keeping me at a distance ; but that until she heard from Bessie , and could discover by her own observation , that I was endeavouring in good earnest to acquire a more sociable and childlike disposition , a more attractive and sprightly manner -- something lighter , franker , more natural , as it were -- she really must exclude me from privileges intended only for contented , happy , little children ."
" What does Bessie say I have done ?" I asked .
" Jane , I don ' t like cavillers or questioners ; besides , there is something truly forbidding in a child taking up her elders in that manner . Be seated somewhere ; and until you can speak pleasantly , remain silent ."
A breakfast-room adjoined the drawing-room , I slipped in there . It contained a bookcase : I soon possessed myself of a volume , taking care that it should be one stored with pictures . I mounted into the window-seat : gathering up my feet , I sat cross-legged , like a Turk ; and , having drawn the