CHAPTER XXXVII 551
hireling , and it was given me by you : I asked a question , expecting John ' s wife to answer me , and your voice spoke at my ear ."
" Because I had come in , in Mary ' s stead , with the tray ."
" And there is enchantment in the very hour I am now spending with you . Who can tell what a dark , dreary , hopeless life I have dragged on for months past ? Doing nothing , expecting nothing ; merging night in day ; feeling but the sensation of cold when I let the fire go out , of hunger when I forgot to eat : and then a ceaseless sorrow , and , at times , a very delirium of desire to behold my Jane again . Yes : for her restoration I longed , far more than for that of my lost sight . How can it be that Jane is with me , and says she loves me ? Will she not depart as suddenly as she came ? To-morrow , I fear I shall find her no more ."
A commonplace , practical reply , out of the train of his own disturbed ideas , was , I was sure , the best and most reassuring for him in this frame of mind . I passed my finger over his eyebrows , and remarked that they were scorched , and that I would apply something which would make them grow as broad and black as ever .
" Where is the use of doing me good in any way , beneficent spirit , when , at some fatal moment , you will again desert me -- passing like a shadow , whither and how to me unknown , and for me remaining afterwards undiscoverable ?
" Have you a pocket-comb about you , sir ?" " What for , Jane ?"
" Just to comb out this shaggy black mane . I find you rather alarming , when I examine you close at hand : you talk of my being a fairy , but I am sure , you are more like a brownie ."
" Am I hideous , Jane ?"