CHAPTER XXXIV 513
" Very well," I said shortly; " under the circumstances, quite as well as if I were either your real sister, or a man and a clergyman like yourself."
" It is known that you are not my sister; I cannot introduce you as such: to attempt it would be to fasten injurious suspicions on us both. And for the rest, though you have a man ' s vigorous brain, you have a woman ' s heart and-- it would not do."
" It would do," I affirmed with some disdain, " perfectly well. I have a woman ' s heart, but not where you are concerned; for you I have only a comrade ' s constancy; a fellow-soldier ' s frankness, fidelity, fraternity, if you like; a neophyte ' s respect and submission to his hierophant: nothing more-- don ' t fear."
" It is what I want," he said, speaking to himself; " it is just what I want. And there are obstacles in the way: they must be hewn down. Jane, you would not repent marrying me-- be certain of that; we MUST be married. I repeat it: there is no other way; and undoubtedly enough of love would follow upon marriage to render the union right even in your eyes."
" I scorn your idea of love," I could not help saying, as I rose up and stood before him, leaning my back against the rock. " I scorn the counterfeit sentiment you offer: yes, St. John, and I scorn you when you offer it."
He looked at me fixedly, compressing his well-cut lips while he did so. Whether he was incensed or surprised, or what, it was not easy to tell: he could command his countenance thoroughly.
" I scarcely expected to hear that expression from you," he said: " I think I have done and uttered nothing to deserve scorn."
I was touched by his gentle tone, and overawed by his high, calm mien.
" Forgive me the words, St. John; but it is your own fault that I have been roused to speak so unguardedly. You have introduced a topic on which our natures are at variance-- a topic we should never discuss: the very name of