CHAPTER XXXIII 488
Were you to argue, object, and annoy me for a year, I could not forego the delicious pleasure of which I have caught a glimpse-- that of repaying, in part, a mighty obligation, and winning to myself lifelong friends."
" You think so now," rejoined St. John, " because you do not know what it is to possess, nor consequently to enjoy wealth: you cannot form a notion of the importance twenty thousand pounds would give you; of the place it would enable you to take in society; of the prospects it would open to you: you cannot-- "
" And you," I interrupted, " cannot at all imagine the craving I have for fraternal and sisterly love. I never had a home, I never had brothers or sisters; I must and will have them now: you are not reluctant to admit me and own me, are you?"
" Jane, I will be your brother-- my sisters will be your sisters-- without stipulating for this sacrifice of your just rights."
" Brother? Yes; at the distance of a thousand leagues! Sisters? Yes; slaving amongst strangers! I, wealthy-- gorged with gold I never earned and do not merit! You, penniless! Famous equality and fraternisation! Close union! Intimate attachment!"
" But, Jane, your aspirations after family ties and domestic happiness may be realised otherwise than by the means you contemplate: you may marry."
" Nonsense, again! Marry! I don ' t want to marry, and never shall marry."
" That is saying too much: such hazardous affirmations are a proof of the excitement under which you labour."
" It is not saying too much: I know what I feel, and how averse are my inclinations to the bare thought of marriage. No one would take me for love; and I will not be regarded in the light of a mere money speculation. And I do not want a stranger-- unsympathising, alien, different from me; I want my kindred: those with whom I have full fellow-feeling. Say again