CHAPTER XXXIII 488
Were you to argue , object , and annoy me for a year , I could not forego the delicious pleasure of which I have caught a glimpse -- that of repaying , in part , a mighty obligation , and winning to myself lifelong friends ."
" You think so now ," rejoined St . John , " because you do not know what it is to possess , nor consequently to enjoy wealth : you cannot form a notion of the importance twenty thousand pounds would give you ; of the place it would enable you to take in society ; of the prospects it would open to you : you cannot -- "
" And you ," I interrupted , " cannot at all imagine the craving I have for fraternal and sisterly love . I never had a home , I never had brothers or sisters ; I must and will have them now : you are not reluctant to admit me and own me , are you ?"
" Jane , I will be your brother -- my sisters will be your sisters -- without stipulating for this sacrifice of your just rights ."
" Brother ? Yes ; at the distance of a thousand leagues ! Sisters ? Yes ; slaving amongst strangers ! I , wealthy -- gorged with gold I never earned and do not merit ! You , penniless ! Famous equality and fraternisation ! Close union ! Intimate attachment !"
" But , Jane , your aspirations after family ties and domestic happiness may be realised otherwise than by the means you contemplate : you may marry ."
" Nonsense , again ! Marry ! I don ' t want to marry , and never shall marry ."
" That is saying too much : such hazardous affirmations are a proof of the excitement under which you labour ."
" It is not saying too much : I know what I feel , and how averse are my inclinations to the bare thought of marriage . No one would take me for love ; and I will not be regarded in the light of a mere money speculation . And I do not want a stranger -- unsympathising , alien , different from me ; I want my kindred : those with whom I have full fellow-feeling . Say again