CHAPTER XXXIII 479
should rather ask the name of the governess -- the nature of the event which requires her appearance ."
" Did no one go to Thornfield Hall , then ? Did no one see Mr . Rochester ?" " I suppose not ." " But they wrote to him ?" " Of course ." " And what did he say ? Who has his letters ?"
" Mr . Briggs intimates that the answer to his application was not from Mr . Rochester , but from a lady : it is signed ' Alice Fairfax .'"
I felt cold and dismayed : my worst fears then were probably true : he had in all probability left England and rushed in reckless desperation to some former haunt on the Continent . And what opiate for his severe sufferings -- what object for his strong passions -- had he sought there ? I dared not answer the question . Oh , my poor master -- once almost my husband -- whom I had often called " my dear Edward !"
" He must have been a bad man ," observed Mr . Rivers .
" You don ' t know him -- don ' t pronounce an opinion upon him ," I said , with warmth .
" Very well ," he answered quietly : " and indeed my head is otherwise occupied than with him : I have my tale to finish . Since you won ' t ask the governess ' s name , I must tell it of my own accord . Stay ! I have it here -- it is always more satisfactory to see important points written down , fairly committed to black and white ."
And the pocket-book was again deliberately produced , opened , sought through ; from one of its compartments was extracted a shabby slip of