CHAPTER IV 45
her work had slipped from her knee; she was lifting up her hands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting her face as if she would cry.
" Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you? Why do you tremble so violently? Would you like to drink some water?"
" No, Mrs. Reed."
" Is there anything else you wish for, Jane? I assure you, I desire to be your friend."
" Not you. You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful disposition; and I ' ll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what you have done."
" Jane, you don ' t understand these things: children must be corrected for their faults."
" Deceit is not my fault!" I cried out in a savage, high voice.
" But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the nursery-- there ' s a dear-- and lie down a little."
" I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon, Mrs. Reed, for I hate to live here."
" I will indeed send her to school soon," murmured Mrs. Reed sotto voce; and gathering up her work, she abruptly quitted the apartment.
I was left there alone-- winner of the field. It was the hardest battle I had fought, and the first victory I had gained: I stood awhile on the rug, where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror ' s solitude. First, I smiled to myself and felt elate; but this fierce pleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my pulses. A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot give its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without experiencing afterwards the pang of remorse