CHAPTER XXVIII 422
" Tell the young ladies . Let me see them- "
" Indeed , I will not . You are not what you ought to be , or you wouldn ' t make such a noise . Move off ."
" But I must die if I am turned away ."
" Not you . I ' m fear ' d you have some ill plans agate , that bring you about folk ' s houses at this time o ' night . If you ' ve any followers -- housebreakers or such like -- anywhere near , you may tell them we are not by ourselves in the house ; we have a gentleman , and dogs , and guns ." Here the honest but inflexible servant clapped the door to and bolted it within .
This was the climax . A pang of exquisite suffering -- a throe of true despair -- rent and heaved my heart . Worn out , indeed , I was ; not another step could I stir . I sank on the wet doorstep : I groaned -- I wrung my hands -- I wept in utter anguish . Oh , this spectre of death ! Oh , this last hour , approaching in such horror ! Alas , this isolation -- this banishment from my kind ! Not only the anchor of hope , but the footing of fortitude was gone -- at least for a moment ; but the last I soon endeavoured to regain .
" I can but die ," I said , " and I believe in God . Let me try to wait His will in silence ."
These words I not only thought , but uttered ; and thrusting back all my misery into my heart , I made an effort to compel it to remain there -- dumb and still .
" All men must die ," said a voice quite close at hand ; " but all are not condemned to meet a lingering and premature doom , such as yours would be if you perished here of want ."
" Who or what speaks ?" I asked , terrified at the unexpected sound , and incapable now of deriving from any occurrence a hope of aid . A form was near -- what form , the pitch-dark night and my enfeebled vision prevented me from distinguishing . With a loud long knock , the new-comer appealed