CHAPTER XXVII 389 opposing but slight obstruction to her wolfish cries.
"' This life,' said I at last, ' is hell: this is the air-- those are the sounds of the bottomless pit! I have a right to deliver myself from it if I can. The sufferings of this mortal state will leave me with the heavy flesh that now cumbers my soul. Of the fanatic ' s burning eternity I have no fear: there is not a future state worse than this present one-- let me break away, and go home to God!'
" I said this whilst I knelt down at, and unlocked a trunk which contained a brace of loaded pistols: I mean to shoot myself. I only entertained the intention for a moment; for, not being insane, the crisis of exquisite and unalloyed despair, which had originated the wish and design of self-destruction, was past in a second.
" A wind fresh from Europe blew over the ocean and rushed through the open casement: the storm broke, streamed, thundered, blazed, and the air grew pure. I then framed and fixed a resolution. While I walked under the dripping orange-trees of my wet garden, and amongst its drenched pomegranates and pine-apples, and while the refulgent dawn of the tropics kindled round me-- I reasoned thus, Jane-- and now listen; for it was true Wisdom that consoled me in that hour, and showed me the right path to follow.
" The sweet wind from Europe was still whispering in the refreshed leaves, and the Atlantic was thundering in glorious liberty; my heart, dried up and scorched for a long time, swelled to the tone, and filled with living blood-- my being longed for renewal-- my soul thirsted for a pure draught. I saw hope revive-- and felt regeneration possible. From a flowery arch at the bottom of my garden I gazed over the sea-- bluer than the sky: the old world was beyond; clear prospects opened thus:-
"' Go,' said Hope, ' and live again in Europe: there it is not known what a sullied name you bear, nor what a filthy burden is bound to you. You may take the maniac with you to England; confine her with due attendance and precautions at Thornfield: then travel yourself to what clime you will, and