CHAPTER XXV 357
is the very sublime of faith , truth , and devotion : it is too much as if some spirit were near me . Look wicked , Jane : as you know well how to look : coin one of your wild , shy , provoking smiles ; tell me you hate me -- tease me , vex me ; do anything but move me : I would rather be incensed than saddened ."
" I will tease you and vex you to your heart ' s content , when I have finished my tale : but hear me to the end ."
" I thought , Jane , you had told me all . I thought I had found the source of your melancholy in a dream ."
I shook my head . " What ! is there more ? But I will not believe it to be anything important . I warn you of incredulity beforehand . Go on ."
The disquietude of his air , the somewhat apprehensive impatience of his manner , surprised me : but I proceeded .
" I dreamt another dream , sir : that Thornfield Hall was a dreary ruin , the retreat of bats and owls . I thought that of all the stately front nothing remained but a shell-like wall , very high and very fragile-looking . I wandered , on a moonlight night , through the grass-grown enclosure within : here I stumbled over a marble hearth , and there over a fallen fragment of cornice . Wrapped up in a shawl , I still carried the unknown little child : I might not lay it down anywhere , however tired were my arms -- however much its weight impeded my progress , I must retain it . I heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on the road ; I was sure it was you ; and you were departing for many years and for a distant country . I climbed the thin wall with frantic perilous haste , eager to catch one glimpse of you from the top : the stones rolled from under my feet , the ivy branches I grasped gave way , the child clung round my neck in terror , and almost strangled me ; at last I gained the summit . I saw you like a speck on a white track , lessening every moment . The blast blew so strong I could not stand . I sat down on the narrow ledge ; I hushed the scared infant in my lap : you turned an angle of the road : I bent forward to take a last look ; the wall crumbled ; I was shaken ; the child rolled from my knee , I lost my balance , fell , and woke ."