CHAPTER XXI 292
proceeded to take further measures . It had heretofore been my habit always to shrink from arrogance : received as I had been to-day , I should , a year ago , have resolved to quit Gateshead the very next morning ; now , it was disclosed to me all at once that that would be a foolish plan . I had taken a journey of a hundred miles to see my aunt , and I must stay with her till she was better -- or dead : as to her daughters ' pride or folly , I must put it on one side , make myself independent of it . So I addressed the housekeeper ; asked her to show me a room , told her I should probably be a visitor here for a week or two , had my trunk conveyed to my chamber , and followed it thither myself : I met Bessie on the landing .
" Missis is awake ," said she ; " I have told her you are here : come and let us see if she will know you ."
I did not need to be guided to the well-known room , to which I had so often been summoned for chastisement or reprimand in former days . I hastened before Bessie ; I softly opened the door : a shaded light stood on the table , for it was now getting dark . There was the great four-post bed with amber hangings as of old ; there the toilet-table , the armchair , and the footstool , at which I had a hundred times been sentenced to kneel , to ask pardon for offences by me uncommitted . I looked into a certain corner near , half-expecting to see the slim outline of a once dreaded switch which used to lurk there , waiting to leap out imp-like and lace my quivering palm or shrinking neck . I approached the bed ; I opened the curtains and leant over the high-piled pillows .
Well did I remember Mrs . Reed ' s face , and I eagerly sought the familiar image . It is a happy thing that time quells the longings of vengeance and hushes the promptings of rage and aversion . I had left this woman in bitterness and hate , and I came back to her now with no other emotion than a sort of ruth for her great sufferings , and a strong yearning to forget and forgive all injuries -- to be reconciled and clasp hands in amity .
The well-known face was there : stern , relentless as ever -- there was that peculiar eye which nothing could melt , and the somewhat raised , imperious , despotic eyebrow . How often had it lowered on me menace and