CHAPTER XVII 219
renewed view of him , they spontaneously arrived , green and strong ! He made me love him without looking at me .
I compared him with his guests . What was the gallant grace of the Lynns , the languid elegance of Lord Ingram , -- even the military distinction of Colonel Dent , contrasted with his look of native pith and genuine power ? I had no sympathy in their appearance , their expression : yet I could imagine that most observers would call them attractive , handsome , imposing ; while they would pronounce Mr . Rochester at once harsh-featured and melancholy-looking . I saw them smile , laugh -- it was nothing ; the light of the candles had as much soul in it as their smile ; the tinkle of the bell as much significance as their laugh . I saw Mr . Rochester smile : - his stern features softened ; his eye grew both brilliant and gentle , its ray both searching and sweet . He was talking , at the moment , to Louisa and Amy Eshton . I wondered to see them receive with calm that look which seemed to me so penetrating : I expected their eyes to fall , their colour to rise under it ; yet I was glad when I found they were in no sense moved . " He is not to them what he is to me ," I thought : " he is not of their kind . I believe he is of mine ; -- I am sure he is -- I feel akin to him -- I understand the language of his countenance and movements : though rank and wealth sever us widely , I have something in my brain and heart , in my blood and nerves , that assimilates me mentally to him . Did I say , a few days since , that I had nothing to do with him but to receive my salary at his hands ? Did I forbid myself to think of him in any other light than as a paymaster ? Blasphemy against nature ! Every good , true , vigorous feeling I have gathers impulsively round him . I know I must conceal my sentiments : I must smother hope ; I must remember that he cannot care much for me . For when I say that I am of his kind , I do not mean that I have his force to influence , and his spell to attract ; I mean only that I have certain tastes and feelings in common with him . I must , then , repeat continually that we are for ever sundered : - and yet , while I breathe and think , I must love him ."
Coffee is handed . The ladies , since the gentlemen entered , have become lively as larks ; conversation waxes brisk and merry . Colonel Dent and Mr . Eshton argue on politics ; their wives listen . The two proud dowagers , Lady Lynn and Lady Ingram , confabulate together . Sir George -- whom ,