CHAPTER XVII 204
CHAPTER XVII
A week passed , and no news arrived of Mr . Rochester : ten days , and still he did not come . Mrs . Fairfax said she should not be surprised if he were to go straight from the Leas to London , and thence to the Continent , and not show his face again at Thornfield for a year to come ; he had not unfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as abrupt and unexpected . When I heard this , I was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the heart . I was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense of disappointment ; but rallying my wits , and recollecting my principles , I at once called my sensations to order ; and it was wonderful how I got over the temporary blunder -- how I cleared up the mistake of supposing Mr . Rochester ' s movements a matter in which I had any cause to take a vital interest . Not that I humbled myself by a slavish notion of inferiority : on the contrary , I just said -
" You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield , further than to receive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee , and to be grateful for such respectful and kind treatment as , if you do your duty , you have a right to expect at his hands . Be sure that is the only tie he seriously acknowledges between you and him ; so don ' t make him the object of your fine feelings , your raptures , agonies , and so forth . He is not of your order : keep to your caste , and be too self-respecting to lavish the love of the whole heart , soul , and strength , where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised ."
I went on with my day ' s business tranquilly ; but ever and anon vague suggestions kept wandering across my brain of reasons why I should quit Thornfield ; and I kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering conjectures about new situations : these thoughts I did not think to check ; they might germinate and bear fruit if they could .
Mr . Rochester had been absent upwards of a fortnight , when the post brought Mrs . Fairfax a letter .