By Jacquette Thompson
Holiday Blues Into Holiday Blessings
Perfectionism can be a stress-inducing burden at any time of year. In the
festive season it’s even more so, totally sucking the joyous, festive spirit
out of those who’ve worked so hard to attain it. Of course it’s easy to get
socially conditioned into believing that our holiday table should resemble
the front cover of a B. Smith magazine, and that our family should get
along like The Huxtables. The truth is that by striving to achieve some idealized image of holiday utopia, you miss the point of how this season came
be festive in the first place and actually make it harder to experience it’s
joy and meaning.
As women we have to make the brave decision to let go trying to ‘keep up’
and decide to let your dinner or party be ‘good enough.’ Doing so will free
your energy to focus on genuine connection, celebration and community
building. You might even have some fun! One things for sure, there’s
nothing more stressful than a stressed out host (or mother, or wife, or
daughter, or sister, or friend). When you ‘forget perfect’ and relax, it makes
it easier for your guests to do so as well.
Take a minute to tune into the language of people around you and you’ll
soon hear them using the word ‘should’ in relation to something that they
feel pressure to do but, very likely, don’t particularly want to do. Listen to
yourself and you may find that you do too.
I should have my (neighbors-boss-friends) over for a meal
I should make a gingerbread house with the kids
I should bake shortbread, make my own Christmas cake and decorate
the house like our neighbors
Our ‘shoulds’ generally stem from the social norms, pressures and expectations of those around us, ahead of what we may truly want for ourselves,
more importantly what God wants for our lives. Left unchecked, they can
have us living what experts call a “Shouldie Life.” So when we hear someone, especially our sisters ‘shoulding’ on themselves, we must ask them to
“Who says you should?!” We must find ourselves encouraging each other
to live a genuine life through the eyes of the Lord and in that find peace
with where we are. Live in the present moment and enjoy the blessings
that surround you. We have so many and the peace we will find there can
overcome the “should” that we place on ourselves based on the world and
sometimes even family.