company . On the hourlong break he had during shows , he would sneak across the street in full costume for a beer and watch football with his friends . It was there that a buddy challenged him to get a callback for a QVC audition slated for the next day .
Mike was given the job after he successfully sold a yellow No . 2 pencil to the QVC producer for eight minutes , likening it to the very device Albert Einstein could credit with E = mc 2 . That was when he first discovered his ability to influence others , just by talking .
“ It ’ s never about the pencil ,” Mike said about his uncanny — and personally unwanted — ability to sell . “ It ’ s always about the thing you can do with the thing you ’ re talking about .”
Admittedly , Mike had no idea what he was doing on camera , so rather than fake it , he told the viewers as much , going so far as to ask those who happened to be watching at 3 a . m . to call into the channel and tell viewers about their experience with the tools he was selling . And to his surprise , it worked . Mike had created a small hub of testimonials , filled with stories from people who had used the devices .
“ I had no idea how valuable it was for me until 10 years went by , and everything I needed to know to work in television I learned at 3 in the morning . It was that toolbox that gave me the [ ability ] to book a lot of auditions ,” Mike explained .
QVC wasn ’ t Mike ’ s dream job , and he also claims to have been fired three times by QVC , but to this day , he credits those early morning gab sessions with happy customers as his first test in humility .
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Later , that same lesson would smack him in the face — literally — and it encouraged him to put his talents toward a cause that fueled his passion .
A Sewer May Not Have Been What Peggy Had In Mind
The afternoon after his mother called him at KPIX , Mike went into his boss ’ s office and pitched doing “ Evening Magazine ” from a trades position , like at a factory or in the sewers . His boss didn ’ t care what he did because the show only had 60 viewers .
So , after a quick call to the city , Mike and his cameraman , Branson , were scheduled to meet with Gene Cruz at a San Francisco intersection in the Tenderloin District of the city .
From the moment he climbed into the manhole with Gene , Mike was completely out of his element .
“ The sensory overload is so intense that your brain doesn ’ t know what sense to focus on first ,” Mike explained . “ As your eyes adjust to the gloom of the sewers of San Francisco … you ’ re standing up to your knees [ in sewage ], the ceiling is 5 feet high … you spend a couple of minutes watching the flow of this terrible chocolate tide .”
It was at that point that Mike knew he needed to document the moment for his grandfather . He asked Gene to stop his trek , made sure Branson was rolling , and began his opening .
“ Good evening , San Francisco . Welcome to ‘ Evening Magazine ,’” Mike began . “‘ Tonight , I ’ ve brought you to a different sort of place , a special place , an important place I ’ d dare say any of you have never been before …” As Mike candidly shared with us , “ And that ’ s as far as I got .”
At that moment , a gurgling noise caught Mike ’ s attention just in time for human excrement to hurl toward Mike ’ s face , and the second piece soared over his head . Mike stared in disbelief . His cameraman puked . Gene just rolled his eyes and said the line that would become Mike ’ s mantra : “ Down here in the sewer , it ’ s best to keep your mouth shut .”
Yet , Mike didn ’ t learn at that moment . In the time spent in the sewer , Mike tried his line two more times , resulting in a tidal wave of sewer cockroaches — one of which crawled in his cameraman ’ s mouth — a rat perching on his shoulder , which would later crawl into his boot , and face planting into the “ chocolate ” pool beneath him . All Gene could do was shake his head before finally asking if Mike was ready to work . “ Mike , when you ’ re done screwing around with the local wildlife , maybe you can come over here and give me a hand .”
Still rolling , Branson recorded footage of Gene and Mike rooting out rotted sewer bricks , and for the first time since he had climbed down the manhole cover , Mike shut up and listened . He listened as Gene regaled his background and expertise as a sewer inspector for the city of San Francisco . He learned about replacing bricks and the sewer system that keeps California ’ s major city humming day in and day out . He also learned that Gene was a skillful engineer .
Back at the studio — after many showers — Mike ’ s peripeteia unfolded .
“ As I watched our conversation , it killed me because what I saw was me at about 10 years old working with my grandfather
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