Dear Emma,
I see that you are stuck between making a very serious decision that can turn out to be life changing. So, before I tell you my perspective on your situation, I want to tell you that it is important to listen to your heart and do what you feel is right. It is very important for you not to get under any type of pressure because once again, this decision can be life changing in either a positive or negative way.
Before making a decision, there are a number of key factors you must consider. The first and most important factor is to determine whether or not if your relationship is healthy. I will list a few questions for you and these questions will help you realize how healthy your relationship is with your boyfriend. So, Emma, do you feel comfortable when you are with him, and does he feel the same about you? Can you both open up to one another easily? Can you both trust each other? Are you both serious and committed with one another? So, if you answered yes to the above questions then it means you both share a healthy relationship with each other. If you answered no to some of the above questions then it means you need to work on your relationship with him before making a decision. In my opinion I believe it is important to answer yes to all of the questions I asked you. I find it very important to comfortably open up with your boyfriend and trust him completely before having sex. This way if you have any problems before or after having sex, you both can easily open up to one another, be supportive and help each other solve the problem.
A Letter to Another Teen
Now, apart from relationships, it is important to look at yourself as an individual and realize what your personal beliefs and values are. This helps you to keep a strong and healthy relationship with your partner. First off, it is important to know if your boyfriend understands and respects what your beliefs and values are. This way he won’t go against them and nor will he compel you to do anything that is against your beliefs/values. Secondly, it is important to know how committed you are to your own beliefs and values. In my opinion, it is essential for one to stand by what they believe in and what they value. If you feel as if you need to change/stop having certain beliefs/values because of your partner, then clearly he is not a loyal boyfriend. Your partner should be able to accept you for who you are and you should not feel the need to change yourself. By knowing this, it will help you in deciding whether or not he is the right guy to have sex with. Another very key factor which you should consider is whether or not you both can communicate effectively.
If you both can easily open up to each other, compromise and understand one another then it shows that, if you or your partner encounter any sex-related conflicts, you both can deal with it together. This prevents problems from increasing and adding more stress. I believe that if you both have great communicating skills, then he won’t leave you one day because of a problem. In fact he would be there with you, supporting you till the end. Moving away from the relationship you both share, it is important to determine whether or not your decision is being influenced by the media, friends, or family. For instance, you should not feel the pressure from your friends/family or the media that you should not be a virgin. If you are having sex because of such influences, then in the future your decision may impact you negatively. Like I said in the beginning, it is essential for you to listen to your heart and see what you truly want to do. Media, such as, advertisements or movies and you family/friends should not completely influence your decision.
"Live Laugh Love"
Continued...