International Journal of Indonesian Studies Volume 1, Issue 2 | Page 24

International Journal of Indonesian Studies

Autumn 2015

since the whole time his eyes were fixed on me as if they could never be satisfied.
(Anderson, 2006, p. 48)
“Why is he like this?” I thought to myself. I was sure that his desire was awakened.
But why was I, too, aroused? Unmistakably, it was because his body was really
amazing. Wherever I laid my hand, his skin felt so smooth and soft. Even though he
was another boy, at whatever part of his body I looked my desire and passion grew
stronger. Especially if I looked at his face. If I didn’t quickly lower my head, my desire
would surely explode. I would surely may my head by his. I longed to nibble at his
lips and kiss them. His body was like silk to my touch. “Even this morning when I first
met him, my heart was already pounding, as if something was beating inside my
chest. (Anderson, 2006, p. 54)
Eventually, he explained to me that a man can satisfy his desire with another man.
We became lovers, until he was transferred. After he left, I did with others what he
had done with me. I was attracted to handsome boys, and in the end found a good
friend, whom I had to leave when I came here. … “How does one satisfy one’s
desire?” I asked him with a smile. He answered not a word, but began kissing my
cheeks, while his hands caressed my body. At that point I could no longer controm
my desire, so I forgot myself and responded with kisses of my own. “This is what I’ve
been waiting for for so long,” I said to myself. Then gradually he to hold of my thigh,
and inch by inch lifted up my sarung, till finally his hand touched my… “It seems you
like le, isn’t it so, Little Brother?” he said with a smile, and kissed me again. By this
time my desire had become indescribable. (Anderson, 2006, p. 54 – 55)
From the fragments above, Sucipto did not say a word “homo” or even “gay”. He did not
know that the romance between two men can be considered as “homosexuality”. Until
then, he began to realize that that kind of relation is unusual when he found his friend has a
relation with a doctor who loved him.
At one time my friend, too had not understood. Just like me. Then he learned from
the doctor who loved him. Ah, why would a doctor, with plenty of money, not feel
like marrying? Other men would certainly have married a beautiful girl. But he didn’t
want to because he wasn’t used to an attachment to women. The other thing was
that I had no idea why he didn’t go for women. Perhaps he was the kind of man
who… And it was the same with my friend. He was accustomed to being attached to
other boys. (Anderson, 2006, p. 59)

Page

Can you really hear the bells from here? Amazing. In that case, I needn’t stir till I hear
them ring! Right now, the two of us have received a blessing. So we must be grateful
to Him and give Him thanks. And now that we have received this blessing, let’s not
just run round and round from joy.… I thought it was I who had fallen in love with
him. But now I see that his love for me is even greater than mine for him.… Listen to
me, Little Brother. My love for you is like nothing else in this world. If I try to hold it
back, I feel my heart dissolve. (Anderson, 2006, p. 65)

24

The emphasizing of “homosexuality” between Sucipto and his boyfriend is more indicated in
this fragment,