While all of these pieces relate to education , what spoke to me most as an educator is the section on “ no ultimatums .” In fact , there is an entire section entitled , “ How the Danes Use No Ultimatums in School .” This idea flies in the face of everything I learned in my teacher preparatory classes . There , we became experts at making reward programs for individuals , small groups , and whole classes . We learned how to find a child ’ s “ currency ” and use it to make a child behave by giving and taking away based on a set of criteria . And what teacher hasn ’ t been in this type of power struggle , “ you need to _______ right now , or else you will lose recess time !”
After reading this book , I have changed my language and approach to conflict with all children , and it ’ s already working .
After reading this book , I have changed my language and approach to conflict with all children , and it ’ s already working . As an interventionist , I take students from all classrooms – and they are often the ones with the “ naughty ” reputations . Yesterday , I was waiting patiently for the class of my student to walk in the large front doors from recess . As they did , I observed my little student begin to scale the railing of the handicapped ramp in the foyer . He had to have been 4 feet off the ground when I walked over to him . He looked at me as if he expected me to wag my finger at him and tell him to “ get down or else .” But I didn ’ t say that . I approached him with empathy and said , “ I ’ m just so worried about you . Come down here where it ’ s safe .” Then I offered him my hand , and down he came . He said to me , “ I think I was okay up there .” That was my opening to dialogue with him about the importance of school rules in a calm , conversational tone . No power struggle . No ultimatums . Just empathy .
Oh , and it works for my toddler , too !
If you are an educator or parent of children of any age , I strongly recommend that you read this book immediately . It causes you to reevaluate your outlook and it reframes your thinking about how you interact with children . It brings the promise of peace and happiness to parent or educator relationships with the children in your life .
Meet Genevieve
Genevieve Pastor Arcovio has fourteen years of experience as a literacy specialist and literacy coach in upstate New York . She is trained in Reading Recovery and has a passion for designing professional development . She partners with friend and colleague , Rhonda , to blog about all things literacy . Rhonda has eighteen years experience as both a classroom teacher and literacy specialist . You can find their blog at literacypages . wordpress . com , or visit them on their Facebook page LiteracyPages .
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