YEAROFYES
Often , we reserve saying yes for the things we feel obligated to do , such as taking on an extra project at work or shopping for a neighbour that needs a hand , but what if we started agreeing to bigger challenges , activities and experiences out of our comfort zones , and invitations to go out and meet new people ? There ’ s no question that taking greater affirmative action has the potential to open up our lives to the prospect of new opportunities , encouraging fresh ideas , prompting innovative thinking , and pushing our boundaries in powerful , possibly even life-changing ways as we go , which is why we ’ re suggesting you make 2024 your year of yes .
Most of us have heard of the term ‘ comfort zone ’ - a space where we feel safe and neither exposed to stress nor danger . You ’ re likely aware of your own comfort zone as it ’ s where you feel most comfortable , so it makes sense not to want to step out of it . In fact , psychological studies have shown that our brains have a natural need for certainty because , especially when faced with unpredictable events , we can feel threatened and intimidated . On the flipside , however , more recent research into the effect of anxiety on motivation and performance has discovered that lowlevel anxiety , even stress , can force us to escape our safety nets and flourish in the face of new challenges .
So , why do we say no even when we might want to say yes ? One word : fear . Good old-fashoined fear is a master of disguises ; you get asked to a party and you say no because you ’ re out of social practice and are worried you ’ ll feel awkward - fear ; you get offered a promotion , but you turn it down because you ( wrongly ) believe you haven ’ t got what it takes - yep , that ’ s fear too . Sometimes we turn down ideas because they seem unconventional to us as well , and more often than not because we already have a lot on our plates and don ’ t want to overcommit . Whatever the reason , the chances are it ’ s fear in some form or another that ’ s holding you back from exciting experiences that are there for the taking , and overcoming fear requires a yes mindset . We ’ re not talking about people-pleasing or suggesting you say yes to every single request that may come your way , in fact it ’ s the opposite - developing a ‘ yes ’ mindset is about putting you and your needs first and aligning to your goals by seizing opportunities with both hands , rather than saying yes because you feel obligated to . It ’ s important not to confuse the two .
HOW TO DEVELOP A YES MINDSET
Be open with yourself
Saying no can often be an automatic response ; something we say without really thinking the question through . But decisions – especially big ones – are always deserving of real consideration and it can help to get it all out on paper . Ask yourself a few questions : How could this help me grow ? What might I learn ? What ’ s stopping me from saying yes ? Which decision suits me best ? Will saying yes to this opportunity ultimately make me happier ? Sit for a while with these thoughts and feelings , writing down the pros and cons as you go and you may be surprised what direction your gut feeling takes you in .
Find your ‘ stretch zone ’
Research shows that as humans we operate between three primary zones : comfort , stretch and panic . The comfort zone is familiar but unchallenging , while the panic zone is characterised by extreme stress . Often , we say no because we ’ re worried we ’ ll find ourselves in a place where we ’ ll be unable to cope . The answer ? Finding your stretch zone : the sweet spot in the middle where you can grow and evolve without feeling out of control .
Getting into your stretch zone involves taking small , calculated risks that feel slightly challenging but not scary - think , speaking up in a work meeting or agreeing to pop in to a social event instead of staying the whole night . The more you stretch , the more comfortable and capable you ’ ll start to feel .
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