insideKENT Magazine Issue 83 - February 2019 | Page 84

Reignite the Spark CONT.
So what can you do to bring back a connection in
your relationship? Here are our top 10 tips: hold hands like you used to, or engage in small
physical gestures. Be playful.
1. Be mindful of the small stuff 3. Have a kid-less day
When you’re in it for the long haul, sometimes the
small things can really make a difference. You’re
not going to be making Hollywood-style grand
gestures every day, but you can run a bath when
you know your partner is coming home from a long
busy day, or organise a dinner if you’re not usually
the one who makes it. Taking a load off of your
partner’s shoulders may seem small and trivial, but
it can have a lasting effect romantically – it shows
that you’re thinking about them. They’re your pride and joy, your greatest
achievement, the apple of your eye… but they’re
also 24/7 attention dictators. Sometimes it can be
really good for a couple to remember why they loved
each other before they had children, what they
enjoyed together, and what values were most
important to them. Drop the kids off with the
grandparents or at a friend’s house for a day, and
go somewhere together. Book a spa day, relax, and
rekindle. If a whole day is too adventurous, go out
for coffee, or for dinner, and spend that time talking
to each other about something other than the kids!
2. Bring back some level of touch
That study of 2,000 adults brought up something
really interesting: most couples pinpointed the loss
of hand-holding as one of the main indicators that
their spark had died. Physical intimacy doesn’t have
to revolve around sex. Make a conscious effort to
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4. Plan surprises
Life is a rut. There, we’ve said it. If you’re in a long-
term relationship, you need to be comfortable with
the fact that every night isn’t a date night, and most
of the time you will be washing socks, watching telly,
and eating the same dinners on rotation. But one of
the things you loved about your relationship when
it was young and new was the spontaneity, the
excitement, the adrenaline. So shake up that ‘rut
life’ a little bit by planning a surprise for your partner.
Next weekend, tell them to pack a bag and get in
the car. Take them to their favourite place, or away
for the weekend to some place new. Book a show
one evening, or simply take a spontaneous trip to
the cinema. Bring home a slice of their favourite
cake from the bakery for no reason. For a real
adrenaline boost, do something that will get the
blood pumping and endorphins flowing! Take them
rock climbing, or book a day at a theme park and
see who can not throw up.