In the digital age, we must also not be
naive enough to think we want to create
a world where gadgets, and advances in
technology don’t exist. Watching objects
go obsolete perhaps threatens the human
mind at a fundamental level, but the pace
of the world is a reality we must accept.
Ayushi Madan is a trainee psychoanalytic
psychotherapist, with an interest in
contemporary discourse. She is also a
trained in Odissi dancer and juggles
between the two. In her free time, she
gobbles books, and explores Hindi poetry.
Volume 4 | Issue 1 | January-March 2019
45
It’s only human to look for, and ready
ourselves for meaningful and supportive
relationships. So, when you feel that thud
in your stomach, and you feel anxious and
alone, look up and strike a conversation!
Loneliness has detrimental effects on
our health and well-being, it is a cause
It must be noted that, not all use of
gadgets isolates us. It has shortened
distances. We can connect with our
friends, and family anywhere in the
world. We can ask our groceries to
be delivered to our doorstep, we can
communicate faster (while we keep
Conclusively, carrying the burdening
feeling of isolation and loneliness is
different from solitude. Solitude has
known to be an enriching time for
ourselves, where we can heal, take
care of ourselves, allow our minds to
meander, even safely let ourselves drift
into boredom, which can provide stimuli
for creativity, and reflection. Therefore,
not all appearances of loneliness are
necessarily grim, some are there to take
care of ourselves.
So, let us break down what happens in
today’s social context- we try to make
connections, and we don’t hit the bull’s
eye. At some point we give up, and
that makes us feel quite awful. This
vulnerable and uncomfortable feeling
should provide us with a diving board to
re-integrate with our groups. However,
we use the same means, that lack real
human connection, and perhaps get
stuck in this loop, without meaning to
do so, and with our busy schedules we
don’t pause to break the pattern.
One, tell yourself that you are going
to be away from your gadgets for
stipulated amount of time in your
day. You need to find your own
balance between your own time,
and your time for your friends and
loved ones.
Two, when you set aside detox time,
stick to it. Make realistic goals,
start small, and push yourself to a
realistic limit. Try not to fall back on
your targets.
Three, start noticing how many
times you use social media for
mindless scrolling. Don’t judge
yourself but just watch yourself.
Some instances, you would maybe
start seeing that some thought made
you uncomfortable, maybe you
thought of an upsetting memory, or
you wanted to distract yourself from
something which is burdening you
in some way.
Fourth, trust yourself. Find your
own goals, strategies, and find out
what you gravitate towards.
getting more and more impatient). But,
as we go on with our daily lives, we must
take account of our feelings, habits,
thoughts and emotional highs and lows,
so that their reasons can be examined.
Social isolation is a state- you could think
of it as a description, or a header to what
might be going on, but loneliness is the
consequent feeling. It is the experience
of feeling isolated. Loneliness is a risk
factor for depression, which provides
humans an impetus to go and rekindle
social relationship.
of suicidal ideation and action, high
mortality rates and substance abuse.
(Hawkley and Cacioppo, 2010). So here
is what you can do-
The possible truth is, we are
disconnected from each other. Social
isolation is the absence of a network
of positive social relationships. The
consequent feeling is loneliness- where
the quality of our relationships, and
the lack of connection makes us feel
like something is amiss, something is
lacking, and the void that stares at us,
reminds us, that we are disconnected
from people in our lives.
Thus, even though it looks like we are
closer to each other, and social media
no doubt provides a means, what is
happening is quite the opposite- we
are not in touch with ourselves, and we
are not in touch with the real feelings
of people around us. What we are then
becoming are a set of isolated people,
who are yearning for meaningful
bonds, sometimes feeling satiated, yet
sometimes missing them, going hay-
wire in our efforts, and constantly
chasing them.
are also not required to say something
of our own, since memes offer easy
grounds for momentary interactions,
and small-time laughs. In short, they
hide our vulnerabilities from the world,
neatly packaging us into individuals we
would like to be at a given point in time.