Indy Boomer 2014.pdf May 2014 | Page 22

REvERSED RolES There are two important principles that parents by example usually teach their children when they are young - trust and respect. Children are taught that they must trust their parents and respect the decisions that they make on their behalf. These principles become the foundation for future parenting when those children grow up and begin their own families. I am amazed as I listen to my own children who are now grown and married with children of their own when they are explaining to my grandchildren these values of trust and respect. It is reassuring to know that my instructions and discipline did not fall on deaf ears, but that gentle, caring coaching actually worked. When my children were very young, my goal as a parent was to reinforce and foster their independence and sense of self-reliance by assigning meaningful and measurable responsibility. I knew that I would not always be around to tell them what to do or how to do it, so they needed to be able to figure out some of life’s challenges for themselves. They didn’t always do things the way I preferred, but at least they did the best they could. I preached to them that the most important thing was to “always do your best because that is all anyone can do, and that is enough.” As they have Trust&Respect matured, they are now sharing this same concept with my grandchildren. I remember learning this Bible verse when I was a teenager: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. Because parenting is such a big responsibility, it is also one of the most difficult experiences in life. When children grow up into adulthood and begin to experience life for themselves, there is less coaching and guidance for parents to share. Still, it is gratifying to hear your son or daughter ask you for advice or seek your counsel when they are feeling challenged. As I approach the second half of my life, I no longer take for granted their need for my attention. I am happy to listen to their stories, and enjoy hearing about their parenting frustrations and praise reports with their own children. –––––––––––––––––––––– Marti Lindell is an advocate for Seniors Aging in Place and connects seniors to the services they need to live independently in their own homes for as long as possible. Contact her at 317-797-9598 or by email at: [email protected] 22 ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––– Sign Up For Your Free Digital Version At IndyBoomer.com ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––