Industry Magazine Get JACK'D Magazine Winter 2019 | Page 18

THE FEEDBACK SANDWICH
1. Explain why you’re giving the
feedback
Recently, a team of psychologists was
able to make feedback 40 percent more
effective  by prefacing it with just  19
words:
“I’M GIVING
YOU THESE
COMMENTS
BECAUSE I HAVE
VERY HIGH
EXPECTATIONS
AND I KNOW
THAT YOU CAN
REACH THEM.”
Rather than feeling attacked, now
you feel like the person has your back
and believes in your future. People are
remarkably open to criticism when they
believe it’s intended to help them. As Kim
Scott  observes, people will accept being
challenged directly if you show that you
care personally.
2. Take yourself off a pedestal
NEGATIVE
FEEDBACK CAN
MAKE PEOPLE
FEEL INFERIOR. IF
YOU LEVEL THE
PLAYING FIELD,
IT’S A LOT LESS
THREATENING:
“I’ve benefited a lot from people giving
me feedback, and I’m trying to pay that
forward.”
“I’ve been studying great managers, and
I’ve noticed that they spend a lot of time
giving feedback. I’m working on doing
more of that.”
“Now that we’ve been working together
for a while, I think it would be great if we
gave each other suggestions for how we
can be more effective.”
All of these messages send a clear
signal: I’m not perfect. I’m trying to get
better too.
3. Ask if the person wants feedback
“I NOTICED A
COUPLE THINGS
AND WONDERED
IF YOU’RE
INTERESTED
IN SOME
FEEDBACK.”
I’ve opened this way many times, and no
one has ever declined. Once people take
ownership over the decision to receive
feedback, they’re less defensive about it.
4. Have a transparent dialogue, not a
manipulative monologue
Organizational psychologist Roger
Schwarz suggests a thought experiment.
Imagine that you’re about to give
feedback to two employees, but you
have to be transparent about what you’re
trying to accomplish:
“I have some negative feedback to
give you. I’ll start with some positive
feedback to relax you, and then give
you the negative feedback, which is the
real purpose of our meeting. I’ll end with
more positive feedback so you won’t be
so disappointed or angry at me when you
leave my office.”
It sounds ridiculous. It’s destined
to elicit the kind of rage that I
haven’t seen since Ross Geller
bellowed  MY SANDWICH?! Here’s what
Schwarz recommends instead:
“The presentation you gave to the
senior leadership team this morning
may have created confusion about our
strategy. Let me tell you how I’d like to
approach this meeting and see if it works
for you. I want to start by describing
what I saw that raised my concerns and
see if you saw the same things. After we
agree on what happened, I want to say
more about my concerns and see if you
share them. Then we can decide what, if
anything, we need to do going forward.
I’m open to the possibility that I may be