Industry Magazine Beyond the Kitchen Door Magazine Spring 2017 | Page 17

Perhaps we all have a Vicki in our lives
or have acted as one ourselves, but there
are proven ways to escape a life devoid
of the optimism and joy that every
person deserves. For those who want
to commit to change, or suggest change
to a friend, reading The Power of TED by
David Emerald is a great place to start.
Unrelated to the popular TED Talks series
(but coined long before them), Emerald’s
TED is an acronym for The Empowerment
Dynamic, a self-empowerment model
that describes how to build a better life
by escaping the victimhood mentality
and converting to a more productive
“creator” way of thinking.
The Creation Of TED
Emerald—whose full name is David
Emerald Womeldorff—developed his
TED model to resurrect his own spirit
following a series of personal setbacks,
including the loss of his father, the
discovery of his infertility, and the
dissolution of his first marriage. He even
applied TED to his personal crusade
against the destructive potential of his
diabetes diagnosis, which he chronicles
in his book TED for Diabetes, cowritten
with Scott Conard, MD.
While wallowing in despair one
morning during his period of reflection,
or “quiet time,” Emerald pointedly made
the decision to relinquish his victimhood
in return for becoming a “creator.” It
was an “utterly unexpected personal
epiphany,” he says, that would transform
his mission in life from that point forward
to help himself and others participate in
life from a vantage point of strength.
Based on research developed by the
psychotherapist Stephen Karpman,
MD, in the 1960s, Emerald’s TED
describes how the destructive roles of
Victim, Persecutor, and Rescuer can be
reconstructed into the more dynamic
roles of Creator, Challenger, and Coach
(Figure 1). Karpman’s research described
the “drama triangle,” which “models
the connection between personal
responsibility and power in conflicts, and
the destructive and shifting roles people
play.” These were the ideas that Emerald
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sought to challenge.
In his own example of despair,
Emerald was able to realize that he had
been living his life through the eyes of a
victim, wondering why everything bad
had happened to him. As he explains
in his book, the Victim feels as
though other people or situations
are acting upon the Victim who
feels powerless to change them.
The Persecutor is the cause of the
Victim’s woes, while the Rescuer
intervenes to save the Victim.
Victims, according to Emera ld,
operate from a position of fear
or weakness, reacting to difficult
situations by learning to fight, flee,
or freeze. The Victim may become
pessimistic in life, always expecting
another disappointment to emerge right
around the corner. The Persecutor, on the
other hand, has the mentality that he or
she must win rather than risk stumbling
and becoming a Victim. Meanwhile, the
Rescuer is determined to assist others
lest becoming unneeded and also falling
into the role of Victim.
Choosing Positivity
From this dysfunctional model,
Emerald drew up a new model that he
called The Empowerment Dynamic,
which allows all three points of the
“drama triangle” to experience growth
and maturity in overcoming adverse
situations. Under the TED paradigm,
the Victim transitions into the role of
Creator, seeking to choose a future of
hope and resiliency rather than one that
is trapped in misfortune and does not
allow for change. The Persecutor evolves
from a mindset of domination to one of
self-awareness and empowerment (the
Challenger). And the Rescuer no longer
must save others, but as a Coach, can
simply encourage them and provide
positive
reinforcement
throughout
their journeys. The trick is to eventually
be able to answer the following three
questions in a productive manner:
1. Where are you putting your focus?
Do you create the outcomes you
want or are you overwhelmed with
Figure 1
TED* The
Empowerment
Dynamic
problems?
How are you relating to others,
your experience, and yourself? Do
you act in ways that perpetuate
drama or empower others?
3. What actions are you taking?
Are you simply reacting to
problems thrown at you, or are
you proactively trying to create
healthier outcomes?
Many observers have come to swear
by Emerald’s message, helping to spur
his modest fable of self-empowerment
into a mini-empire of books, workbooks,
courses,
and
leadership
training
programs. Participants in his programs
tell stories of dramatically turning their
lives around or freeing their workplace
from unnecessary drama and conflict.
Others tell of buying dozens of copies
of his books for staff and colleagues and
even registering to become TED trainers
themselves. Today, Emerald’s TED has
influenced giant corporate leaders like
Google and IBM as well as dozens of
municipalities, hospitals, associations,
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