Industry Magazine Beyond the Kitchen Door Magazine Fall 2019 | Page 6

A LITTLE HAPPIER
A LITTLE HAPPIER :
SOMETIMES, WHAT WE CONSIDER A LIMITATION
CAN BE A STRENGTH.
BY GRETCHEN RUBIN
IN PSYCHOLOGY these days, one of
the most respected models is the “Five
Factor” model, also called the “big five.”
It describes personality in terms of five
major dimensions:
• openness
• conscientiousness
• extraversion
• agreeableness
• neuroticism
Helpfully this creates the acronym
OCEAN which is a useful mnemonic.
This is a very interesting model, and I
have many thoughts about it! But right now,
I’ll mention one thing that really has struck
me.
When you look at the model, it’s clear
that the factor “openness to experience”
is something that’s deemed good. It’s
described as “appreciation for art, emotion,
adventure, unusual ideas, curiosity, and
variety of experience.” I’ve also seen it
described as “the depth and complexity of
an individual’s mental life and experiences,
or intellect or imagination.”
On the other hand, I’ve seen a description
that suggests that people with low
openness “seek to gain fulfillment through
perseverance and are characterized as
pragmatic and data-driven—sometimes
even perceived to be dogmatic and closed-
minded.” I’ve also read that these folks
“probably prefer routine over variety,
stick to what they know, and prefer fewer
abstract arts and entertainment.”
One thing I’ve learned in my own
observations of human nature is always to
look for the bright side and the dark side of
anything I see. I see something, I ask: What
are the benefits, what are the strengths
of a particular pattern of human nature,
and given that, what are the accompanying
limitations and drawbacks? Every plus has
its minus. But sometimes I really have to
think about it.
So, as I was thinking about the Big Five,
I asked myself, “What’s the positive side of
low openness to experience? How might
we all gain, as humanity, from this aspect of
human nature?”
And I thought of a passage which gives a
perfect example. I came across this passage
during my research for my biography Forty
Ways to Look at Winston Churchill.
This is an observation made by the
prominent British politician, diplomat, and
writer Harold Nicolson, in his Diaries on
October 17, 1940. Note the date: this was
in the early days of World War II and during
the Blitz, the persistent German bombing
of London. (I believe he was serving as
Parliamentary Secretary at the time.)
In this period, London was reeling from
the constant bombs, and people were
struggling to figure out how to deal with it.
This was the era of “Keep calm and carry on.”
In this passage, to set the scene, Nicolson
is talking about the state of a London street,
a street called King’s Bench Walk, and the
reaction of his housekeeper, Mrs. Groves.
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King’s Bench Walk is still all right and
Mrs Groves is there, as determined as
usual to pretend that all is unchanged. I
used to be irritated by the Cockney love
of the familiar, feeling that it closed
their minds to new experiments, but now
their obstinate clinging to the rock of our
tradition fills me with pride.
Recently, too, I’ve been reading the work
of novelist and essayist Wendell Berry.
In particular, I recommend the terrific
novels Jayber Crow and Hannah Coulter.
The protagonists of these two novels
certainly wouldn’t score high on “openness
to experience,” and in the novels, we see the
beauty in their perspective.
Given the circumstances, sometimes,
what we might think of as a limitation can
actually be a strength, or what we think is a
strength might prove to be a limitation. Or
it might add a dimension to the world that
would otherwise be lost.
And when we understand that, we can
have more compassion and respect for
other people, and why they may see the
world the way they do, even when it’s
different from our own way, and even when
we disagree with it.
*You can listen to this audio clip here:
https://gretchenrubin.com/podcast-episode/
little-happier-limitation-or-strength/