The next night I walk into the house bar and find it heaving. I see Neil sitting with Nadia, Captain Space Sex and a couple of other people on the sofa next to the big metal doors. I go to the bar and a hand falls heavily on my shoulder. I turn around. A face looms over me. „Owight mate? Whatcha been upter?“
I recognise the face as belonging to Chad, the large punk who’d tried to sell me a guided tour of Tacheles on his first day in town. „Alright Chad?“ I say. Somehow despite myself I’ve warmed to him. Even though he’s nearly seven feet tall and looks seriously dangerous and possibly a little deranged, as well as not very bright, he has a gentleness to him and his face is open, somehow like a child’s.
„Wanna get us a beer then mate?“ he propositions.
I nod. There’s a small girl with red hair that I’ve seen in Lorraine’s flat behind the bar and I give her a couple of marks and she hands me two beers. I hand one to Chad.
I sit down on a chair next to Neil’s group. Nadia gives me a big smile. There’s another girl sitting next to Neil and she leans forward and gives me a smile too. „Hi, I’m Cat,“ she says in a London accent. „Neil said you’re a musician as well.“
I say hallo. „Yeah, I suppose. Though not as impressive as Neil.“
She laughs. „Well who is. You know Neil’s going to play here tonight?“
„No,“ I say, „ I didn’t know that. Um…where is he going to play?“
“Probably standing on the bar like he usually does,“ she laughs again. She grabs a chair and puts it next to mine and sits next to me so she doesn’t have to keep leaning over and shouting to make herself heard (I assume).
„Are you from London?“ I ask her.
„Yeah, Shepherd’s Bush. I came here last year. I’ve been back and forth, but I suppose I kind of live here. I take photographs.“
„Cool,“ I say.
„Yeah, isn’t it,“ she laughs. „No, it’s not really. It’s just taking pictures. But yeah, it’s good for someone like me, there’s so much here to photograph. And you get a different perception, a different set of impressions, than in London.“
I nod. „That must be true.“
We talk on about this and that and she offers to get me another beer. I agree and she walks to the bar. I look over to Neil and he gives me a quick grin and lifts his eyebrows suggestively. I notice that Nadia is watching me. I try to read her look but I can’t.
„Where’s Hans tonight?“ I ask her over the music.
She looks at me for a moment. „We broke up,“ she says shortly.
I look at her. I think of meeting Shoshana and her boyfriend and getting all fluttery and them breaking up and it not leading to anything. The parallels are odd. Especially, I reflect, since I feel myself falling for Nadia now. But with Nadia it’s something else than with Shoshana…with Shoshana I felt like I was falling in love – with Nadia it’s different, in that I just find her extremely sexy. There’s something about her, as there is with certain women, they exude sexuality, and it’s difficult to put your finger on what it is exactly – how they move, something in their eyes….Nadia’s skin is white and somehow puffy, I imagine that she is easily bruised. She is a woman you could fall into.
An excerpt from
Noel Maurice’s memoir
The Berlin Diaries Vol. 1
39