IN Upper St. Clair Spring 2016 | Page 61

INDUSTRY INSIGHT PARENTING SPONSORED CONTENT Mom and Dad are Different: The Role of Fathers M others and fathers care for their children in very unique ways. Children can recognize the differences between their mother’s and father’s care, which actually enhances their development. This article focuses on the critical role fathers play in a child’s development. Newborns can differentiate between Mom’s voice and touch and Dad’s voice and touch. Although moms may get a head start on the bonding process with the baby, dads have their chance, too. By six weeks old an infant can distinguish a father’s voice from a mother’s, and while a quiet baby may pay more attention to Mom’s voice, an upset baby will calm more readily to his/her father’s handling. Mothers usually are very consistent in the way they handle their children, often picking them up in the same manner, saying the same thing before they handle them, for example, at bath or bedtime. A dad rarely approaches the baby with such consistency. Each time he picks up the baby, he does it in a different manner than before, but this helps the baby recognize that it is Dad who is holding him. Time with Dad is typically less structured and more play oriented than with Mom. Most of a mother’s time with her children is dedicated to caregiving tasks or educational play, while a dad’s time is less structured and full of impromptu play. Where Mom uses toys, Dad tends to use his body. Dads are typically more physical with the kids and they love it. Physical play helps to stimulate both physical and brain development. Dads also have a tendency to make any situation educational, even if they don’t realize it themselves, so that a father’s tasks around the house might be an adventure for the child. Fathers challenge their children to learn. Obviously, both Mom and Dad want to help their child learn in any way they can, but they do this differently also. For example, when teaching a frustrated child, a mother tends to assist in finding the answer; whereas, a father is more likely to guide the child through the frustration and challenge him/her longer to find the answer. Fathers also encourage more exploration and boundary pushing than mothers do. A father’s way of teaching his child persistence in the face of adversity results in positive academic and social performance in the long run. Certainly, one style is not better than the other, and children absolutely benefit from both. THE ROLE OF FATHERS Recent research about the role of fathers and their approach to parenting include the following: • Fathers tend stylistically to encourage problem-solving skills by letting their kids struggle with frustration a little longer before stepping in to help. (Of course, there is a huge personal variation here, as there is in mothers.) • Fathers permit a little more emotional autonomy during learning sequences with their young children, supporting and encouraging but without the same emphasis on intimacy that is more typical among mothers. • Fathers tend to mix play with learning a little more successfully, from the child’s point of view, allowing longer work periods. • Fathers’ more functional approach to academic work (“Do it because it needs to be done” rather than “Do it because it will go better between us if you do”) builds in the child a larger range of problemsolving skills over time that probably contributes to more lasting self-esteem. This Industry Insight was written by Bob & Lori Santo. Bob & Lori Santo are the owners of The Goddard School®, located at 825 East McMurray Rd. in Peters Township. Goddard offers both full- and part-time infant/preschool/ kindergarten programs. For more information, visit www.goddardschools.com or call 724.941.6464. Upper St. Clair | Spring 2016 | icmags.com 59