INDUSTRY INSIGHT
FUNERAL HOME
SPONSORED CONTENT
New Traditions
It is a new era ; funerals don ’ t need to be a big , drawn out , expensive process . We hear it often enough , “ Don ’ t make a fuss over me .” Others say , “ I don ’ t want anybody staring at me when I ’ m dead .” That may be what you want , but is that what your family needs ? The funeral is for the survivors . It ’ s about what the survivors need to move forward in their lives while dealing with grief and loss .
We offer a chance at properly saying goodbye with a funeral or memorial service . Many are not choosing to do anything at all . Friends and family are left wondering what they can or should do to help . Doug Manning , an expert in grief , put it this way , “ There is the gift of Presence . Just being there says you care ; you love and you remember .” Let them be present for the survivors .
Set aside even a brief period of time to say goodbye . Tell your family and friends to come to tell stories and to be present . If they come , wonderful . If they don ’ t , they don ’ t . Families who choose a simple service lasting a short period of time are often surprised by the response and outpouring of love . No one has ever told me that they regret having some sort of memorial . I have been told many times , “ I wish that I did something .”
We recently had a funeral that consisted of a 30-minute visitation before a church service . The family was surprised when the line was out of the door of the funeral home : “ We didn ’ t think anyone would come .” They were overwhelmed by the outreach they had received .
When people choose to do nothing , they are surprised when that is exactly what happens . No one calls , sends a card , brings over food , no one remembers . Nothing . Later , people may ask you how Mom is doing and you will have to say , “ She died .” That person exclaims , “ What happened ? How did she die ?” The discussion becomes not how people lived ; it becomes how they died . It is very difficult to deal with grief and loss alone . Many people try to work around grief , instead of working through grief .
Society does not often offer opportunities to express high emotions . Having a set time to meet and greet well-wishers is
This Industry Insight was written by Frank Perman , FD , Supervisor , CFSP , CPC , CCO , CFC . He is the owner of Perman Funeral Home and Cremation Services Inc ., 923 Saxonburg Boulevard at Rt . 8 in Shaler Township . Mr . Perman believes an educated consumer makes the most informed decisions . Inquiries may be made to him at 412.486.3600 or emailed to frank @ permanfuneralhome . com .
a great way to begin good grieving . We can help you plan and implement a fitting farewell . You can create new , meaningful funeral traditions . There are so many possible options . Find out what they are . Create your new family traditions at Perman Funeral Home .
If your grief doesn ’ t seem to be moving toward resolution , please ask for help . We have information for experts and organizations who help grieving people . Call us at 412.486.3600 or visit permanfuneralhome . com .
Please bring your old worn , torn or faded flag to Perman Funeral Home
The flags collected will be retired in a dignified manner by local members of the Boy Scouts of America and the Veterans of Foreign Wars .
US Flag Code : The flag when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display , should be destroyed in a dignified way , preferably by burning .
Perman Funeral Home
923 Saxonburg Boulevard • Pittsburgh PA 15223 412-486-3600 • www . permanfuneralhome . com
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