INDUSTRY INSIGHT
FUNERAL HOME
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The Family Who Brought Pizza— and Why It Mattered
Funerals tend to follow a familiar rhythm. There’ s a quiet order to things— hushed conversations, quiet footsteps, soft music in the background. People arrive unsure of what to say, doing their best to be respectful, to be present, to somehow make sense of the moment.
It was a Friday night visitation— long day, big turnout, tired family. Around 7 PM, a delivery driver walked through the door carrying six large pizzas, a stack of boxes, and beverages. I thought he had the wrong place. But the oldest son waved him over and said,“ No, that’ s for us.” I raised an eyebrow, and he grinned.“ Dad hated formality. He’ d want everyone eating, talking, and laughing. This is what he’ d do.” Then he invited me to join them. I was honored to share that time.
Within minutes, the room smelled like pepperoni and garlic breadsticks. At first, the guests hesitated. Is this okay? Should we be doing this here? Absolutely. Grief has a way of stripping away formality. One person reached for a slice. Then another. Conversations began to shift. Shoulders dropped. People gathered not just to mourn, but to connect. Something changed in that room. The heaviness didn’ t disappear— it never does— but it softened. The silence became less rigid. People started sharing stories, even laughing a little. They lingered longer than they might have otherwise.
And the family? They weren’ t trying to break rules. They were taking care of the people who had come to support them. Then it struck me: comfort doesn’ t always look the way we expect it to. We often think of funerals as formal, structured, even rigid. But the truth is, they are deeply human. And humans don’ t live on structure alone— we live on connection, on shared moments, on small acts of care.
Sometimes that care looks like a handshake. Sometimes it’ s a quiet“ I’ m sorry.” And sometimes, it’ s a slice of pizza. Viewings, wakes, and visitations don’ t have to be heavy affairs. They can be filled with conversation, laughter, and the kind of togetherness that truly honors a life well-lived. Grief isn’ t just about mourning what’ s lost— it’ s also about celebrating what was shared.
If someone asks you to break bread with them, do it. Sharing a meal is one of the most human things we can offer one another.
Because in the end, it’ s not about doing things perfectly-- it’ s about how we make people feel.
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For generations, Perman Funeral Home has helped Pittsburgh families create meaningful goodbyes with care, clarity, and respect.
This Industry Insight was written by Frank Perman, FD, Supervisor, CFSP, CPC, CCO, CFC. He is the owner of Perman Funeral Home and Cremation Services Inc., 923 Saxonburg Boulevard at Rt. 8 in Shaler Township. Mr. Perman believes an educated consumer makes the most informed decisions. Inquiries may be made to him at 412.486.3600 or emailed to frank @ permanfuneralhome. com.
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Frank Perman, FD, Supervisor
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