INDUSTRY INSIGHT
FUNERAL HOME
SPONSORED CONTENT
The Driver’ s License
As a funeral director, there are moments that have stayed with me forever. One happened during an arrangement conference. As we discussed the funeral service, I asked a simple question:“ Do you have photographs we could use for the memorial tribute?”
Usually, the answer is easy. Families pull out photo albums, scroll through their phones, or email me a folder filled with pictures. Weddings. Vacations. Christmas mornings. Ball games. Fishing trips. Grandchildren. A lifetime captured one click at a time.
This family quietly looked at one another. Finally, someone reached into a wallet and slid a driver’ s license across the table.“ This is all we have.”
I looked at the tiny photograph. Harsh lighting. A forced expression. A picture taken only because the state required it. It wasn’ t the photograph they wanted to remember. It was simply the only recent one they had. Sadly, it happens more frequently than you would expect.
Other families have handed me a high school senior portrait because they couldn’ t find anything more recent.
A lifetime of marriage, children, grandchildren, birthdays, vacations, anniversaries, holidays and ordinary Tuesdays … and the best photograph they could find was a high school senior portrait taken when Mom or Dad was 17 years old. How can that be? Almost always, there are two answers. They were the photographers, or they always said,“ I don’ t like my picture being taken.” They spent a lifetime preserving everyone else’ s memories while rarely stepping into the picture themselves. No one notices until it is too late.
Yet I’ ve witnessed the exact opposite, too. Families have told me they stayed up until 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning around the dining room table, pulling photo albums off shelves, opening old boxes, and scrolling through thousands of pictures on their phones. They laughed. They cried. They remembered. They told stories they hadn’ t told in years. Families describe those evenings as unforgettable. Emotional. Loving.
Even joyful.
This Industry Insight was written by Frank Perman, FD, Supervisor, CFSP, CPC, CCO, CFC. He is the owner of Perman Funeral Home and Cremation Services Inc., 923 Saxonburg Boulevard at Rt. 8 in Shaler Township. Mr. Perman believes an educated consumer makes the most informed decisions. Inquiries may be made to him at 412.486.3600 or emailed to frank @ permanfuneralhome. com.
Those photographs do something remarkable. They gently return loved ones to the way they lived, instead of the way they died.
By the time the family walks into the funeral home, they aren’ t just bringing me photographs for a memorial tribute. They’ re bringing stories. They’ re bringing laughter. They’ re bringing a life.
The next time someone reaches for a phone and says,“ Let’ s get a picture,” don’ t automatically step aside.
Hand your phone to someone else. Stand beside your spouse. Gather your children and grandchildren. Put your arm around a friend. Be in the picture. Because someday those photographs won’ t belong to you anymore. They’ ll belong to the people who love you, and the people who will miss you.
Now get in the picture... smile and say cheese.
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Frank Perman, FD, Supervisor
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