INDUSTRY INSIGHT
FAMILY LAW
SPONSORED CONTENT
WAYS TO LIMIT THE
IMPACT OF
SEPARATION OR
DIVORCE ON YOUR KIDS
E
ven in the most amicable of divorces, there is no
question that the division of the family has a significant
impact on the children. So every parent should be
looking for ways to lessen that impact.
1. Absolutely Never Speak Negatively About the Other
Parent. Never. Ever. Even if the other parent is talking
negatively about you; even if the other parent is truly an
abhorrent person, do not discuss this with the child or allow
the child to overhear you talking to someone else about the
Cook & Associates
Experience, Honesty and Results
Divorce | Custody | Support
Alimony | Division of Assets/ Debts
106 Arcadia Court
9380 McKnight Road
Pittsburgh, PA 15237
(across McKnight from the Outback)
Amanda C. Cook
412-366-8980
www.pittlawyers.com
other parent. It is not fair to put children in that position,
even if they are older and can better understand what’s
going on. If a child tells you that the other parent or his/
her family has said something about you, tell your child that
those topics are not appropriate and you are sorry that he or
she had to hear such a thing. This can be the most difficult
thing to do. It is natural to want to fight back. But remember:
this is about the child, not about you. If the other parent is
misbehaving, allow the child to figure this out on his/her
own. Sometimes that takes patience, but it almost always
works. Just keep being a great parent and the children will
know not to believe what may be said about you.
2. Try to Work Out a Physical Custody Schedule with Details.
Many parents think it is unnecessary to put a physical
custody schedule into writing, much less have one with
seemingly insignificant details. The best custody schedules
include, but are not limited to, which parent has the children
when; what time and at what location(s) the exchanges will
take place; who is responsible for transportation; what is the
holiday schedule (with all of the above‑described details);
how much vacation each parent can take; and how make‑up
time will be scheduled. When two parents are getting along
and agreeing, the custody schedule does not need to be
followed. But, none of us has a crystal ball. The relationship
may not always be wonderful. To lessen the conflict and
impact on the children, it is best to have a written agreement
to fall back on.
3. Try Your Best to Co-Parent. The kids who adjust the best to
their parents’ separation generally have those who are able
to co‑parent. The relationship between the parents has been
shown to impact the mental and emotional well‑being of
the children. So, how do you show kids that they are what is
most important? Show them consistency. Try to have similar
house rules, discipline, schedule, and rewards. And honor the
other parent’s discipline when the child switches houses. This
shows the child that you are still a team, even though you are
living separately. Co‑parents should make all major decisions
for the child together. This can include medical, educational
and financial decisions, among others. Try to separate your
feelings from your behavior and be a healthy example for
your children.
This Industry Insight was written by attorney Amanda C. Cook. Ms. Cook is a Senior Associate at Cook & Associates located in McCandless Township. For over a decade, she has
provided her clients with compassionate representation during the often‑difficult divorce, support and custody processes. Ms. Cook is also a certified mediator. Other areas of
practice for Cook & Associates include estate planning and probate, real estate law and business law. For a free initial consultation, please call Ms. Cook today at 412.366.8980 or
visit the website at www.pittlawyers.com.
ROSS TOWNSHIP
❘
SPRING 2020
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