H
INDUSTRY INSIGHT
FAMILY LAW
aving a good
divorce seems
like an oxymoron
because all you
hear about is how bad divorce
can be. However, there are
people out there who have
good divorces. So, what does
it take? Patience, diligence,
reason, and a level head. Most
people have these abilities,
but they seem to go out the
window during a divorce. Here
are some ways you can use
these simple tools to make the
best of a tough situation:
Patience. Oftentimes,
people want to “rip off the
Band-Aid” when it comes to
finalizing a divorce. It may
seem like a good idea at the time, but if you make rash decisions
to just “get it over with,” you might wake up five years from now
regretting it. Of course it is beneficial to get closure, but do it after
considering all of the information so you can make an informed
decision about your future. Make sure you have reviewed budgets,
bank and retirement statements, custody schedules, financial
projections, paystubs and tax returns so that you have full and fair
disclosure before entering into a
legally binding agreement that
can affect the rest of your life
whether you are the payor or
payee.
Diligence. Do your homework.
Find an attorney who is a good
fit for you, considers your goals,
and can counsel you all the way
through. Once you have a lawyer,
figure out what you want your
future to look like (within reason),
knowing that life is going to look
a little different when you divide
up assets. If your lawyer asks you
for statements, tax returns or
other information, just deliver it.
Attorneys have to do their due
diligence before they can counsel
you properly. Create a livable
budget for you and your family
based on what your reasonable
needs are. This isn’t the time to
negotiate for a vacation in France
when you always vacationed in
Myrtle Beach.
Reason. This is where you
need to be realistic. There’s only
one pot of money to be divided.
If you picked a lawyer who is
telling you exactly what you want
to hear or who sets unreasonable
expectations for the outcome,
you may want to rethink who you
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hired. Lawyers are not ethically
allowed to make promises for
outcomes, so run the other
way. You want an attorney
who is going to give you the
pros and cons so you can make
an informed decision. If your
sister thinks you should get
alimony for life because your
spouse cheated on you, don’t
shoot the messenger but also
don’t take the bait. Unless you
are permanently disabled,
lifetime alimony is extremely
rare. If your boss considers
“Jane Smith” the best attorney
in Pittsburgh, make sure
you can afford Jane Smith’s
$450-per-hour rate. There are
many attorneys who are quite
talented and charge much more reasonable rates.
Level Head. It is so hard to do but take the emotion out of divorce
if at all possible. There is little-to-no value in litigating a divorce just
for spite. It isn’t bad to still care for your soon-to-be ex-spouse or
your children, especially if you want to have a positive co-parenting
relationship post-divorce. However, while delaying, not cooperating,
and not communicating might feel good initially, it may run up your
legal bills and your loved ones’
rather than getting you the
closure you need. Try to tune out
the “Greek Chorus” of friends,
family and co-workers who want
to chime in and give you advice
or compare your situation to
theirs. Here’s a reality check:
Everyone’s situation is different
so don’t bother engaging in
those conversations.
Seek legal advice from your
lawyer, seek psychological
support from mental health
professionals, and emotional
support from family and friends
and you, too, can have a good
divorce.
HOW TO HAVE A
GOOD DIVORCE
www.mcmorrowlaw.com
This Industry Insight was written by
Brooke B. McMorrow of McMorrow Law,
LLC.
Attorney Brooke McMorrow is the
founding member and Managing
Attorney of McMorrow Law, LLC located
in Wexford. The practice focuses on
family law matters such as divorce,
custody, child support, guardianship,
estate planning, and probate/estate
administration in Pittsburgh and the
surrounding counties. Attorney McMorrow
is collaboratively trained and a certified
mediator. She is also a founding member
of Collaborative Solutions North. She is
licensed to practice in Pennsylvania and
New York. For a free initial consultation
call 724.940.0100 or visit the website at
www.mcmorrowlaw.com.
NORTH ALLEGHENY
❘
WINTER 2018
15