INDUSTRY INSIGHT
O
FUNERAL SERVICES
SPONSORED CONTENT
Grief and Summertime.
ther than the large amount of rain we have had
lately, summer is typically a time for happiness.
Being outside, soaking up the sun and enjoying the
weather. Unfortunately, sometimes the nice weather
makes it a bit harder for people who are grieving. Over my 20
years of running grief support groups, people who are grieving
tend to feel worse when the weather is nice. Many times they
keep this to themselves because people would think they’re
crazy for not liking the nice weather. Typically, but not always, I
get the same response: I was really looking forward to summer;
somehow I thought it would make my grief go away. What I
found was it didn’t. My grief was still there. Since it didn’t help
me I actually feel worse. Almost like I am broken more.
Feeling broken is a common reaction to death. Quite honestly
it is the truth and an understandable emotion. So many parts
of your life have been destroyed. The physical, mental, and
attachment of someone you loved and held dear is gone. Not
just your heart but most parts of you can feel “broken.” The
relationship cannot be healed or repaired because the person
is gone. I know this sounds extremely dire, but when you are
grieving you understand this to be true. In an interesting way,
that broken feeling is often a connection to the past
relationship with the person
you loved. Many people I
speak with talk about how,
if they heal, they feel they
might forget about the love
they felt. So being broken
remains a connection to their
deceased loved one. It can
make the grief spiral feel like it
is never-ending. In the winter
months when the weather is
cold these feelings only seem
natural. When the weather
breaks, these feelings often stay
the same and life becomes more difficult.
So what can we do to help? We live
in a society of fixers, a place where we
prescribe medicines and think it will
magically cure our ills. Grief is often
the same way. We feel that we can
run from grief or just keep busy and stay away from it. Maybe
taking medicine or self-medicating will make grief go away. The
problem is it just will never go away until we work through grief.
Even then it will always be with us. We need to deal with the
pain, the loss, the loneliness, and emptiness. Working through
the disappointment of things sometimes not getting better,
but feeling worse. We need to understand that grief doesn’t
end in a month but is part of your life experiences. Grief can
actually change and be a positive thing over time. It can be the
connection to the love we have felt. Many times the first steps to
helping are embracing the emotional loss and pain of grief.
I know it sounds counterproductive to embrace grief.
By embracing grief and walking through grief we have the
opportunity to learn about ourselves. We have a chance to
recreate ourselves and see what and who we can be. Grief is
never chosen but often chosen for us. Our grief becomes the
forced reinvention of self. By working through our grief we can
learn to move forward in life, while understanding and holding
on to the love we have for the person who is lost. Moving
through grief includes this emotional relocation of the deceased
to a different place in your heart.
At Sperling Funeral Home we understand that
our commitment to families we serve doesn’t
stop with the final committal. We walk the
grief journey with families and make sure the
resources are available to families who need the
assistance. If you are struggling with grief, please
feel free to reach out so we can provide support
and referrals to local agencies that can help.
If you have questions about us or our
services, please feel free to call or find us
on Facebook. You can also learn more
about our family and services by visiting:
www.sperlingfuneral.com
Sperling Funeral Home, Inc.
700 Blazier Dr. • Wexford, PA 15090
Jarett D. Sperling, Supervisor
724.933.9200
NORTH ALLEGHENY
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SUMMER 2019
19