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You can’ t take it with you.
Yep, I am guilty. Probably many of you are also. I like to have nice things. I don’ t need luxury or expensive name brands, but I like to make sure that I am getting value in the items I buy... things that last and are built well. To everyone, nice stuff is different, but the bottom line is different things make people happy. Although I might not like someone else’ s taste, it makes no difference because it’ s not mine. If the stuff you have makes you happy, great. What I find interesting though is how people are judged by the stuff they own. People tend to label others according to where they shop, what they drive, or the clothes they wear. I have always found this disturbing because these labels don’ t define who a person is or what he / she has done to help others in life.
Like many of you, I wear many hats in life. Husband, dad and family member are my most favorite hats. Funeral director and professional counselor are both a close second. To me, serving people is life fulfilling. Being able to help a family say goodbye to someone they love is an incredible privilege and honor. It is really the ultimate compliment. As a therapist, helping guide someone through rough times or to a goal in life is equally rewarding. What is most important is the trust that is imparted. A trust that says,“ Please lead and help us through this time.” I know many of my colleagues in both fields would agree.
I kind of get a kick though out of watching how people label us funeral directors. It usually goes something like this:“ So what do you do for a living?” My response,“ I am a funeral director.” Mostly I get a blank stare, then a bit of a creepy look. After this is processed, people will either make a“ That’ s nice” type of comment and walk away, or immediately mention that they already know a mortician, implying that I am currently sizing them up. For the record,
I am not trying to figure out what casket you would look best in. Even as a funeral director I get labeled. I get it— it’ s part of the career choice.
What I really wanted to say is that all of the stuff you collect and have in life or the labels you acquire in life can’ t go with you. They all stay right here. I have been working in the family business since I was old enough to open the front door. Currently I have been licensed for over 20 years and shepherded hundreds, if not thousands, of families through some pretty rough times. The common denominator to them all? No one was able to take anything with them when they died. The casket they picked or what cemetery they went to was not critical. It didn’ t matter whether they chose to be cremated or donated themselves for medical research. All the stuff they collected, the money they earned or the debt they left behind... it stayed here.
I think the question becomes,“ What do you want to leave behind?” Through all those funerals, love seems to be the greatest thing to both give back and take. I always tell those I am counseling that grief is a downside of love. If we don’ t love we would never grieve. Grieving is a way to continue to know that your love left behind stays with the people you care about even after you are gone.
That’ s how I approach and help families that I am privileged to shepherd: simply through love, compassion, understanding, and treating people the way I want my family to be treated. So if you find that someone is telling you that a funeral is about having a nice casket or what cemetery has the best view, take pause. Think about what it is all really about. Those things and labels aren’ t going with you.
If you have questions about us or our services, please feel free to call or find us on Facebook. You can also learn more about our family and services by visiting: www. sperlingfuneral. com
Sperling Funeral Home, Inc.
700 Blazier Dr. • Wexford, PA 15090 Jarett D. Sperling, Supervisor 724.933.9200
North Allegheny | Summer 2017 | icmags. com 45