INDUSTRY INSIGHT
FUNERAL SERVICES
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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
Our newly licensed funeral director, Jesse McElroy, was telling me that she was asking a family about their father. She asked about hobbies, his occupation, awards and honors, and things he liked. She asked the family what was their dad’ s favorite color. They were stumped. They knew he liked fishing, hunting and the family camp, but not his favorite color.
You are probably thinking,“ Why would that be important?” It helps us gather information to tell a story and remain consistent throughout the memorialization process. Color is significant in a number of things such as the color of the casket, interior of the casket, clothing, cremation urn, memorial jewelry or a memorial photo DVD.
The color chosen can elicit different feelings and memories. Perhaps Mom would not be caught dead in a red dress( pun intended). How would you know unless you discuss this? Take the time to discuss, listen and take some notes if it helps you to remember details. These details will be important.
Having the“ talk of a lifetime” ahead of time will help everyone involved with acceptance and resolution of someone’ s death. Some believe that if they have“ that talk,” their own demise will happen. FYI … at some point it will. Having the talk simply clarifies what you want.
Some folks say,“ Don’ t make a bother. Just get rid of me or bury me or cremate me or whatever. Don’ t make a fuss.” Make a fuss. It doesn’ t have to be a big fuss. It doesn’ t have to be fancy or long or expensive. Doing nothing means that there will be no time for family and friends to gather, mourn or to say goodbye.
An interesting statistic is that two-thirds of the people who come to pay their respects to the deceased do not know the person who died. They know a family member or relative. They are there to show respect and express their condolences to the survivors.
Think about this: A husband dies, he is buried and no notice of the death was given. The wife goes to the grocery store and a neighbor asks how“ John” is. The wife states,“ John died three months ago.” Then the questions start. The neighbor says,“ I did not know,”“ What happened to John?” and“ Why was there no notice?” And on and on and on. So instead of having a memorial, a viewing or a service, visitation now takes place in the produce aisle of a grocery store.
The time to mourn, however presented, is our society’ s time to express condolences, offer support to the survivors and to tell stories of the person who died.
Talk to us directly if your family is not comfortable having the discussion. Most people do not know that they can not only make arrangements ahead of time, they can also easily and legally preauthorize their own burial and cremation.
Therefore, find out Dad’ s favorite color, food, drink and jokes. Find out what dress Mom would not be caught dead in. Let’ s have the talk of a lifetime.
This Industry Insight was written by Frank Perman, FD, Supervisor, CFSP, CPC, CCO, CFC. He is the owner of Perman Funeral Home and Cremation Services Inc., 923 Saxonburg Boulevard at Rt. 8 in Shaler Township. Mr. Perman believes an educated consumer makes the most personal, affordable and memorable decisions. Inquiries may be made to him at 412.486.3600 or emailed to frank @ permanfuneralhome. com.
Hampton | Spring 2017 | icmags. com 39