INDUSTRY INSIGHT
FUNERAL SERVICES
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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR ?
Our newly licensed funeral director , Jesse McElroy , was telling me that she was asking a family about their father . She asked about hobbies , his occupation , awards and honors , and things he liked . She asked the family what was their dad ’ s favorite color . They were stumped . They knew he liked fishing , hunting and the family camp , but not his favorite color .
You are probably thinking , “ Why would that be important ?” It helps us gather information to tell a story and remain consistent throughout the memorialization process . Color is significant in a number of things such as the color of the casket , interior of the casket , clothing , cremation urn , memorial jewelry or a memorial photo DVD .
The color chosen can elicit different feelings and memories . Perhaps Mom would not be caught dead in a red dress ( pun intended ). How would you know unless you discuss this ? Take the time to discuss , listen and take some notes if it helps you to remember details . These details will be important .
Having the “ talk of a lifetime ” ahead of time will help everyone involved with acceptance and resolution of someone ’ s death . Some believe that if they have “ that talk ,” their own demise will happen . FYI … at some point it will . Having the talk simply clarifies what you want .
Some folks say , “ Don ’ t make a bother . Just get rid of me or bury me or cremate me or whatever . Don ’ t make a fuss .” Make a fuss . It doesn ’ t have to be a big fuss . It doesn ’ t have to be fancy or long or expensive . Doing nothing means that there will be no time for family and friends to gather , mourn or to say goodbye .
An interesting statistic is that two-thirds of the people who come to pay their respects to the deceased do not know the person who died . They know a family member or relative . They are there to show respect and express their condolences to the survivors .
Think about this : A husband dies , he is buried and no notice of the death was given . The wife goes to the grocery store and a neighbor asks how “ John ” is . The wife states , “ John died three months ago .” Then the questions start . The neighbor says , “ I did not know ,” “ What happened to John ?” and “ Why was there no notice ?” And on and on and on . So instead of having a memorial , a viewing or a service , visitation now takes place in the produce aisle of a grocery store .
The time to mourn , however presented , is our society ’ s time to express condolences , offer support to the survivors and to tell stories of the person who died .
Talk to us directly if your family is not comfortable having the discussion . Most people do not know that they can not only make arrangements ahead of time , they can also easily and legally preauthorize their own burial and cremation .
Therefore , find out Dad ’ s favorite color , food , drink and jokes . Find out what dress Mom would not be caught dead in . Let ’ s have the talk of a lifetime .
This Industry Insight was written by Frank Perman , FD , Supervisor , CFSP , CPC , CCO , CFC . He is the owner of Perman Funeral Home and Cremation Services Inc ., 923 Saxonburg Boulevard at Rt . 8 in Shaler Township . Mr . Perman believes an educated consumer makes the most personal , affordable and memorable decisions . Inquiries may be made to him at 412.486.3600 or emailed to frank @ permanfuneralhome . com .
Fox Chapel Area | Spring 2017 | icmags . com 45