REFLECTIONS
You Will Come to Know Death as a Friend:
A Letter to Student Nurses From the Front Lines of Critical Care
By Kyle Evans
Dear Student Nurse,
If you’ re reading this, chances are you’ re just starting your journey. You’ ve cracked open the textbooks, pulled your first overnight shift, maybe even placed your first IV. You’ re learning the rhythms of nursing: the clatter of call bells, the subtle signs of deterioration, the art of presence even when words fall short.
But there’ s one rhythm that may still feel foreign to you- one you might not be ready for yet. It’ s the rhythm of goodbye.
I want to tell you something no textbook will fully prepare you for: You will come to know death not as a stranger, but as a companion.
It won’ t happen all at once. At first, death will shake you. It will make you question your choices, your skills, your calling. You’ ll walk into a room one day and realize nothing more can be done. You’ ll hold a hand that’ s cooling. You’ ll listen to the silence after the monitor flatlines. And it will leave a mark.
You may go home in tears the first time. That’ s okay. I did too.
But over time, you’ ll come to understand that death is not the enemy we often think it is. It’ s not always a villain. Sometimes, it’ s mercy. Sometimes, it’ s sacred. Sometimes, it’ s where healing finally comes— not to the body, but to the soul.
And you? You’ ll learn how to be there for it. You’ ll learn that nursing isn’ t just about saving lives. It’ s about honoring them— even as they end.
In critical care, I’ ve worked codes where we threw everything at the storm. Chest compressions. Intubation. Shock. Hope. And I’ ve also stood at bedsides holding a mother’ s hand as her son slipped away, softly and peacefully. I ' ve heard the wails of families who never got to say goodbye, and I ' ve seen the quiet strength of those who whispered“ thank you” to their loved one with their final breath.
You’ ll be there for all of it. And it will change you.
It will make you wiser, softer, stronger. It will teach you the value of a moment, the power of presence, the holiness of simply bearing witness.
34 NSNA Imprint