dispensed drugs , and another technician arrived with a portable X-ray . Physicians and nurses from other units were running around pushing medications , discussing different options , and asking for background information about the patient .
I felt impotent in that room . My role as a student was to observe and learn ; however , I could not help but wonder if I had missed something during the hours I spent with this patient . I grew frustrated knowing that even if there had been a sign , I did not have the formal training or education to catch it . My emotions in this scenario were unique to the nursing student experience . We spend all day with our patients , get to know them and their families , and build relationships with them . But at the end of the day , we are still students . We have no power or authority in that room and are only present to learn .
The same veteran nurse who kept requesting medications was the one to call a time-out . At this point , they had been running the code for more than half an hour . The patient was still in asystole , a non-shockable rhythm , and I could tell this was it . I was now standing next to my nurse as we held hands and cried while they continued CPR . His mother was brought in to say goodbye , and my nurse and I were led out of the room .
I was not there when they pronounced him dead . However , I did hear his mother ’ s screams when they gave her the news . I can still hear them to this day .
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Bio
Hillary Peralta is a nursing student at Rutgers University in Camden , NJ .
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